


A Lot Like Christmas

by bitboozy



Series: Domesticated [34]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: A Very Broadchurch Christmas!, Christmas, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Gen, Holidays, Post-Series, Romance, This is a love story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:07:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21794281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy
Summary: Alec, Ellie, and the kids have their first real Christmas together as a family. Alec will just have to grin and bear it.
Relationships: Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Domesticated [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550554
Comments: 120
Kudos: 175





	1. December 1st

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help it, I'm sorry, it's happening.
> 
> Oh also, PLEASE don't give any thought to the actual timeline of this series. It's a mess. I know Ellie was six months pregnant at Halloween. But if I can't write Christmas stories at Christmastime, what's the point of anything really?

**DECEMBER 1 ST**

In relative darkness, Alec and Ellie are asleep in bed. These days, their most favourite thing to be. Ellie is face down on the mattress with a hand haphazardly laying on Alec’s hip, as he lies on his side facing her. A sudden cry from the baby jolts them both awake. But then it quickly subsides.

This happens now and then, Aila fakes them out. It’s mildly terrifying but also glorious. For them there is nothing more beautiful than the moment you realize you get to go back to sleep.

But this time, Alec does not go back to sleep. He inches a little closer to Ellie and slips his hand up under her t-shirt to rub her back. He’s still half asleep, but he’s also half something else. He seems content to rub her back for a few moments, to feel her warm skin, then he moves lower, slipping past by waistband of her pyjama bottoms to cup her arse.

“Mm,” Ellie murmurs, and it’s unclear whether it’s in pleasure or in protest.

A little more awake now, he couples his hand on her arse with a kiss to her shoulder, then to her ear. Ellie opens one eye when she feels his growing erection against her hip.

“Still dark,” she complains.

His tongue licks her ear. “Darkness is a construct.”

“No,” she groans. “Darkness is a literal thing we can see with our eyes.”

His hand slides up her back again, then moves down to stroke the side of her breast. “C’mon, before the baby wakes up again.”

This is mostly how it is now. They can’t ask Beth to babysit every time they want to have sex. They grab little moments here and there and have learned to time their arousal with Aila’s naps. She has on more than one occasion called him at work in a frenzy begging him to come home because she’s randy as hell and Aila’s just gone to sleep.

Ellie nods her head sleepily into the pillow and turns onto her side, back to him, and yanks down her pyjamas pants and knickers in one go. Alec does the same with his. He pulls her against him, lips grazing her neck, and slips his hand up her shirt again to fondle her breasts.

“What were you dreaming about?” Ellie asks drowsily, yawning.

Normally he’d be offended by her yawning as he’s running his thumb over her nipple, but not anymore. “You.”

She leans back into him and tangles their legs together. “You always say that.”

“You were snoggin’ Helen Mirren.”

She turns her head back to look at him in surprise. “Really?”

“Mm.” He captures her lips. “Yes.”

She turns back, grinding her hips back into him. “That _is_ hot.”

Alec sucks on her earlobe while his hand drifts down between her legs, parting her thighs. He slips his knee in between them while his fingers play with her entrance.

“You both have great tits,” Alec murmurs.

Ellie snorts.

“Shhh.” His hot breath on her neck sends shivers down her spine. Then his finger circles her clit and she gasps. “ _Shhh_.”

She reaches back to grab onto the nape of his neck. He glimpses her hard nipples through her t-shirt and bites her earlobe.

“Yours are better.” He slips a finger slowly in and out of her and she’s biting her lip to keep quiet. “You want it like this first?”

She rubs her arse back against his cock and he has his answer. She bends her knee, foot flat on the bed, and he guides himself inside her with a long, deep groan. He keeps his hand on her lower stomach, fingers stroking lightly and absently beneath her belly button, as he begins to move inside her.

“Oh fuck yes,” Ellie sighs.

“Love you,” he whispers.

“Bite me,” she replies.

He nearly laughs, but she’s very serious. He bites into the skin behind her earlobe and she moans softly. He keeps nibbling.

“Harder.”

He bites her harder.

“No, fuck me harder.”

She’s very demanding this morning. Usually this early she likes it slow, decadent, quiet. But apparently today she has other ideas.

“She’s gonna wake up soon, I can feel it,” she continues, a sense of urgency in her voice.

With a hand on her stomach, he guides her forward, moving over her until she’s flat on the mattress and he’s on top of her from behind. He resumes his movements, kissing her back through her shirt, and reaching for both her hands. He threads their fingers together as he begins fucking her faster.

“ _Christ_ , yes,” Ellie gasps into her pillow. “So good.”

“You want it harder?” He asks, a very distinct challenge in his voice.

She raises her hips back, bending her knees. “Harder, fuck me harder.”

He repositions onto his knees as well, holding onto her hips, slamming into her.

“ _Oh_ my god.”

They can hardly hear it, but there’s a soft sound of gurgling from not far off. This is what Aila has been doing recently. If she’s not in desperate need of something, she’ll wake up and make various sounds, experimentally, contentedly testing out what her three-month-old vocal chords are capable of.

He reaches one hand around to find her clit. “So bloody sexy.”

“Yeah, how sexy.”

This is the most vocal they’ve been in a _while_ and Ellie forgot how fun it can be.

“Sexier than Helen Mirren.”

Ellie half-laughs and half-gasps as she pushes into her deeper. The gurgling gets louder.

“Fuck, she’s awake,” Alec groans, slowing down just a bit.

“Keep going, we can finish,” Ellie insists.

He picks up the pace again. “Gotta move her out of here soon.”

She reaches for his hand on her clit and keeps him focused, controlling his hand. He finds it endlessly sexy when she does this, so in point of fact it’s more for him than for her.

“Close,” she says, panting, and just as she says it, she cries out, no longer so worried about being quiet, and moans her way through her orgasm.

He keeps rubbing her clit until he comes too, spilling out inside her, both of their knees collapsing. He lays atop her, both of them gasping for air.

“Fuck, I love you,” Ellie says with a sigh.

“Bite me,” he replies, kissing her shoulder.

“Shut up.”

He pulls out of her and falls onto the mattress. She smiles at him, hair covering her face. He pushes it back and kisses her, long and languid.

“Pretty hot for two old people with four kids,” Alec says.

“ _You_ might be old,” she scoffs.

“Someone’s clearly forgotten she has a birthday comin’ up.”

She whacks him and turns her face into her pillow, groaning. “Not ‘til after Christmas. I don’t think about birthdays until after Christmas.”

Fred’s birthday is a week after hers. Unsurprising that they would be the same astrological sign.

Aila’s gurgling sounds like it’s turning into fussing.

“I’ll get her,” Alec offers.

She lifts her head up from her pillow. “Really? She’ll be hungry.”

“Plenty of breast milk in the freezer, I’ll feed her. You shower.”

She smiles. “I love you so much.”

He gives her a kiss, then swats her arse as he crawls out of bed. “Your reward for bein’ such a good shag, Miller.”

*

Fred has evidently been awake for some time. When he hears Alec walk past his bedroom, he comes bursting out, following him downstairs. Alec sets him up with some cereal then sits with him at the breakfast table, feeding Aila a bottle. By the time Ellie makes it into the kitchen, freshly showered, Fred is dancing around the table.

“CHRISTMAS TREE DAY CHRISTMAS TREE DAY CHRISTMAS TREE DAY.”

Alec and Ellie look at each other and sigh in unison.

Ellie stills Fred, bending down to kiss his head. “Too loud, little love.” Then she goes to switch on the kettle.

Daisy comes trudging in, still wearing her pyjamas, rubbing her eyes. “Why is there yelling.”

“IT’S CHRISTMAS TREE DAY!”

Daisy collapses into a chair. “Of course it is.”

“Want some toast, love?” Ellie asks her.

Daisy nods. Ellie throws a couple slices in the toaster. Then Tom enters, in workout clothes, energized.

“You goin’ to the gym, Mum?”

“No.” She shakes her head, then grins at Alec. “Already got some exercise in this morning.”

Tom and Daisy exchange horrified, dubious glances and groan. Aila’s eyes dart around, distracted by all the commotion in the room, and she stops sucking her bottle. Aila is _very_ easily distracted by her boisterous family and if this happens when she’s nursing, Ellie can fairly easily guide her back. But with the bottle, the only solution they’ve found is to hand her off to another person, a more interesting person, and try again.

“Daiz, will you – “

Daisy nods sleepily and holds her arms out. Alec places Aila in her arms and hands her the bottle. Aila takes it right away, gaze locked on her sister.

The toast pops out of the toaster and Tom steals one.

“Oi!” Ellie exclaims. “Not yours.”

“Gotta run.”

Toast in his mouth, he runs out the door. Ellie puts more bread in the toaster. The kettle whistles and she pours the hot water into several mug with teabags and hands them out to Alec and Daisy. Fred crawls onto Alec’s lap.

“Christmas tree day,” he says with his signature winning grin.

“ _Yes_ , lad, I got that much.”

“You’ll pick me up after school?”

He nods. “I’ll be there.”

Fred hops off his lap again. “CHRISTMAS TREE DAY!” Then runs out of the room.

“Go get dressed, love!” Ellie calls after him.

Alec stands, grabbing his mug. “Gonna go get dressed too.” He kisses Ellie’s cheek, then follows Fred out of the kitchen.

Ellie leans against the counter, drinking her tea. “You’ll make sure to be home tonight, yeah? It’ll break Fred’s heart if you’re not there to decorate.”

“Can Jade come?”

Ellie hesitates. “Family, I think.”

Daisy holds her gaze stubbornly. “I helped _Jade’s_ family decorate _their_ tree.”

Ellie is not intimidated. “Jade’s family probably isn’t celebrating their first Christmas with a brand new baby.”

And, to be fair, it’s their first real Christmas as a whole family, full stop. Last year they hadn’t yet moved in together.

“Everything can’t be about the baby,” Daisy argues. Then feels a twinge of guilt when she looks down at Aila in her arms, looking up at her with her giant brown eyes.

“It’s not _about_ the baby, Daisy, it’s about you’re a bloody _teenager_ and you don’t need to be with your high school….partner every second of every sodding day!”

In a huff, Daisy takes the bottle out of the baby’s mouth and hands her to Ellie.

“Well maybe _your_ relationship is out of the honeymoon phase but don’t take it out on mine!” Daisy exclaims, heading for the door.

“My relationship is just fine, young lady!” Ellie calls after her, now trying to quiet the wailing baby. “At least it’s based on more than playing bloody video games all the bloody time!”

Daisy is heard stomping up the stairs with all her might. With a heavy sigh, Ellie sits down at the table with Aila and tries to give her the bottle again. Aila just blinks at her, lips pursed.

“Oh, fine.” She puts the bottle down and pulls up her shirt to nurse her. “Got what you wanted somehow, didn’t you?”

*

Sometime in the early afternoon, Ellie pulls the boxes of Christmas decorations out of the closet. Last year, in the old house, she and the boys had not gotten a real tree. They had borrowed a fake tree from Lucy, who was planning to be in the Virgin Islands for the holidays, and done the bare minimum. Tom could not have cared less and Fred cared only about presents. This year, probably thanks to holiday fever at school, Fred is all Christmas all the time.

Ellie had loved Christmas once. For most of her life, in fact. She loved it as a child and she loved it even more as a mother. But in the years after Joe’s arrest, it served only to make her feel sad and lonely. Last year she was so wrapped up in a busy season at work and her budding relationship with Alec that she barely noticed when it had come and gone.

This year will be different. For Fred, for the baby. For their new family. Indifferent teenagers and grumpy fiancé be damned.

With Aila in a sling at her front, Ellie sits on the couch and goes through the boxes. It’s her first time really sifting through the ornaments in years. She hadn’t realized just how many she’d have to throw out.

The ornament Joe had given her the year they got engaged. And every ornament he had given her since – each year until his arrest. The homemade ornament Tom had made in nursery school – a frame made of popsicle sticks with a picture of his very happy parents inside. This one she hates to toss. But she has to.

As the rubbish next to her begins to fill up, there’s a FaceTime call ringing through to her iPad. She props it up against a box and accepts.

“Well hello there, stranger.” It’s Alec's sister, Greer.

Ellie squints, leaning forward. “What’s going on?”

“Angus is tryin’ to get the tree to stand on its own.”

There’s a crashing noise in the background. Ellie cringes.

Greer shrugs. “He’s fine. Now let me see that baby.”

“Oh, hang on.”

Ellie extricates both herself and the baby from the sling, then sits Aila on her lap, leaning back against her. She’s wide awake, pacifier in her mouth.

“Oh good god, it’s outrageous,” Greer exclaims. “How did you get a baby like that?”

“No idea. Complete fluke, I tell you.”

“Three months old, practically an adult.” Greer shakes her head. “Hello, darlin’. Your Auntie Greer misses you so much.”

Greer, Angus, Megan, and Melody had come out for a weekend about a month ago. The visit was short, but at the time all Alec and Ellie could handle.

“Can I get a bit of teenage girl advice?” Ellie asks. "Since I have you."

“Oh lord help us, what’s she done?”

“Very attached to her new…significant other. Which seems far too serious a term, but they’re non-binary so I’m not sure what the reasonable alternative to girlfriend/boyfriend is. Partner, I guess. Which also seems too serious a term,” Ellie explains. “But anyway. Tom too, frankly, but Tom’s not quite as cranky about it all. Daisy takes everything about Jade personally. I just think she’s seventeen and could maybe calm the fuck down.”

Greer laughs. “No seventeen-year-old knows how to calm the fuck down, El, you must remember _that_.”

“I don’t remember ever being quite like this. Lucy maybe, with all her boyfriends. I was very casual with mine.”

Aila accidentally spits out her pacifier. Ellie puts it back in.

“Megan once threatened to move in with her then-boyfriend when she was sixteen. As if his parents would ever have agreed to it.” Greer rolls her eyes. “Such drama.”

“Daisy’s never been like this before. I mean she’s had her angsty moments, don’t get me wrong, but she’s not taken them out on _me,_ ” Ellie says sadly. “I’m afraid we’re approaching Evil Stepmother territory.”

Greer is shaking her head. “Doubt it. Daisy’s too reasonable. Like her dad, pragmatic. Might just be a baby thing, have you thought of that?”

Ellie looks down at Aila. “S’pose it could be. But she’s so good with her.”

“Doesn’t mean she can’t be cross with _you_.” There’s another crash in the background. “Christ almighty, Angus, will you just ask for some bloody help!”

“’M FINE!”

Ellie chuckles.

“Anyway, you two gettin’ any sleep these days?” Greer asks.

“Well, this one’s starting to sleep 3-4 hours at a time at night, so that’s a start,” Ellie replies, bouncing Aila a bit. “Four hours feels like twelve to me right about now.”

“Good girl, Aila.” Greer nods at the baby. “You keep that up.”

Then there’s another crash in the background. “BLOODY COCKSUCKER!”

Greer raises an eyebrow and shakes her head. “Better go, El. Keep me posted on the teenage drama.”

“Good luck!”

“Bye-bye, sweet Aila!”

Ellie helps Aila wave to the iPad, then switches it off. She lifts Aila up and stands. “All right, little bug. Time to go buy some new decorations.”

*

Alec leaves work early to pick Fred up from school. On their way to the Christmas tree farm, they stop at the café for tea and hot chocolate. Fred is absolutely _buzzing_ , both about the tree and some alone time with Alec. After the hot chocolate he’s nearly bouncing off the walls. Alec takes a picture of him cackling with whipped cream on his nose and sends it to Ellie. He’s been much better about taking pictures since Aila was born.

Ellie replies: **Frame it. xx**

Fred insists on blasting Christmas music at full volume throughout the entire car ride. Alec tolerates it silently. If anything, it means he expends less energy trying to follow all of Fred’s nonsensical stories. Though he does enjoy them.

At the Christmas tree farm, they walk through the maze of trees hand in hand, both of them bundled up. Fred points to almost every single one. Alec vetoes them all.

“Will we find the _perfect_ tree?” Fred asks, looking up at him. “Is that what you’re waiting for?”

Alec’s not sure really. Christmas has never been his thing and he’s not positive he’s a particularly good judge of trees at all. But he hopes to know it when he sees it.

“Have to find one that fits best in our living room,” is his explanation.

Fred accepts it. He’s not in a rush.

“What’s your favourite favourite thing about Christmas?” Fred asks, apropos of nothing.

“Uh.” He’s not convinced he _has_ one. “Like the eggnog, I s’pose.”

“Mine’s the cookies.”

Then he points to a massive Christmas tree that Alec doubts would fit in the town square. He vetoes it.

“Mumma likes the music,” Fred tells him.

Alec raises an eyebrow. “The music?”

“Mumma likes to dance with wine.”

Alec nods. “Now that I believe.”

“Tom likes the movies.”

Alec can’t remember the last time he _saw_ a Christmas movie. “Which one’s _your_ favourite?”

“I like _The Grinch_! He’s so grouchy!” Fred exclaims. “Kinda like you.”

Alec lets that one go, eyes landing on what _might_ be the perfect tree. Fred runs up to it and throws his arms around it. Alec takes a picture. He calls someone over to help, then sends the picture to Ellie.

**Oh it’s too cute I can’t stand it. Xx**

She sends him back a selfie of her and Aila, in the sling, standing in the pop up Christmas store surrounded by Christmas kitsch.

**Stop that, you’re gonna make me like Christmas.**

She texts back, **That’s the plan.**

They load the tree on top of the car and harness it down snugly. The whole way home Fred sings “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” And those are the only words he knows.

*


	2. December 4th-5th

**DECEMBER 4 TH**

Pulling into the drive around 10:30pm, Alec sighs heavily when he sees the dark silhouette of the Christmas tree in the window. It’s just been sitting in its corner in the living room, unlit and undecorated, for three days now.

After he and Fred had brought it home, it soon became clear that the two teenagers were not going to show as promised. Tom had simply forgotten, but Daisy’s absence was deliberate. They waited for some time, Fred very anxiously, before giving it up. Since then it’s been impossible to get the whole family home at the same time.

The house is blissfully quiet when he walks through the door. He hangs up his coat in the foyer and leaves his bag, then finds Ellie in the living room. She’s asleep on the couch, lying on her back with Aila asleep on her chest. Both with their mouths open. He savors the sight for a moment, then goes to them. Carefully and quietly, he gets a hold on Aila and picks her up. He takes her upstairs, gently _shhhh-_ ing her drowsy little noises of protest. In the nursery, he sits with her in the rocking chair and holds her until she falls back asleep fully. Once he’s certain she’s out again, he places her in her crib, switches on the sound machine, grabs the monitor, then silently closes the door on his way out.

Back downstairs, he finds Daisy at the kitchen table, bent over her history textbook.

“Hey there, darlin’.”

She barely looks up. “Hi, Dad.”

He opens the fridge in search of something quick and easy. “How was your day?”

“Fine.”

He settles for making himself a sandwich, setting out all the ingredients. “Hope you were a help to Ellie tonight.”

“Why should I?” She keeps her head down. “ _You_ stay late at work and suddenly _I_ have to give up my night to help _her_?”

Alec whirls around, regarding her with surprise. “Beg your pardon?”

“Just sayin’, I have my own life,” Daisy says. “Shouldn’t have to change all my plans around ‘cause of a choice _you_ made.”

He squints at her, folding his arms across his chest. “What’s all this then?"

“Nothing.”

“Keep an eye on your tone, then,” Alec tells her. “If you’re cranky, go to bed.”

“Fine.” Daisy starts gathering her books.

“And plan to be home tomorrow night. Goin’ to do the tree finally.”

She looks at him, thoroughly put out. “I have plans with Jade.”

“You can see Jade after Fred goes to bed.”

Not an unreasonable request, generally, as Fred goes to bed at 7:30.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about, you see,” Daisy complains. “Why don’t my needs mean anything to this family?”

Alec rubs his eyes. “Now you’re just bein’ melodramatic. You’re a teenager, you can’t always have your way, and that’s just life. You know that well enough. And frankly I think we give you a bloody good deal of freedom as it is. You can give us an hour of your precious time.”

Daisy holds her book to her chest and squares in on him. “Then tell Ellie to let Jade come.”

“Ach, not this again.”

“They’re a part of my life!” Daisy argues.

“But not a part of this _family_ ,” Alec replies firmly. “You can see Jade after. And you need to let go of this thing with Ellie, it’s a waste of everyone’s energy.”

Daisy scowls. “She doesn’t get to make unilateral decisions.”

“ _Yes_ , Daisy, she does. She is the _parent_.”

“Not _mine_.”

Alec all but growls at her. “All right, enough! Upstairs now, go.”

Daisy stalks out of the room.

Alec eats his haphazardly made sandwich alone at the kitchen table, then returns to the living room, where Ellie is still fast asleep. He kneels next to the couch and brushes back her hair.

“El,” he whispers. “Come on up to bed, love.”

She squirms a bit, then feels around on her chest. “…’s the baby…”

He covers a hand with his and strokes the back of it with his thumb. “Brought her upstairs.”

Ellie opens her eyes and turns onto her side to face him. “Time is it?”

“Nearly eleven.”

She rubs her eyes. “Bring in the suspect?”

“In custody now. Talk to him more in the mornin’.” His hand glides up and down her arm. “Sorry I’m so late.”

“’s fine,” Ellie replies, yawning. “Been quiet here. Did you eat something?”

He nods. “Come on to bed.”

Upstairs, they change into their pyjamas and do their teeth as quickly as possibly, bodies aching and exhausted. They switch off all the lights aside from the one of Alec’s nightstand, then crawl into bed together.

Ellie snuggles up against his chest and he puts an arm around her.

“Daiz still isn’t speaking to me,” she says.

“I know,” Alec answers grumpily. “She’s _this close_ to losin' all her internet privileges with that attitude of hers.”

“So unlike her. I can’t understand it.” She settles her head underneath his chin. “Do you think it’s the baby?”

“She loves the baby.”

“Right, but it’s her last few months at home,” Ellie explains. “And meanwhile we’re wrapped up in the baby and not in her.”

“She’s smarter than that.”

“She’s also hormonal.”

They hear a little gurgling sound come from the monitor. Alec grabs it off his nightstand and brings the video screen in front of them. They wait.

“Seems fine.”

Ellie nods. “Mm-hmm.”

He puts it back. This is only Aila’s second night sleeping in her own room at night. They’re all handling it much better than initially expected.

There’s a moment of quiet, then Alec asks, “Think you might come back to work soon?”

She looks up at him, startled. “…Oh.”

“There’s no…pressure or anythin’, I’m just curious. You’d said eight weeks then she was born early and…we just never spoke on it again,” he says.

Ellie thinks about it, laying her head back on his chest. “Well, after the New Year, I think, at this point, yeah?”

“Good, good.” He kisses her hair. “Do miss you, Miller.”

She grins into his chest. “Is that so, sir.”

He squeezes her tighter and rubs her back. “No one to keep me in line.”

“You mean someone to drag you off and snog you whenever you get tetchy,” she amends.

“Aye, what she said.”

Ellie chuckles and slides her hand up under his t-shirt, splaying her palm over his ribs. “Guess you’ll just have to police yourself.” Then she snorts. “Get it?”

He reaches over and switches off the lamp. “Go to sleep, Miller.”

She yawns. “Yes, sir.”

*

**DECEMBER 5TH**

Alec manages to make it home from the station by 6pm the next day. This time, he returns home to a very different household. Nearly all the lights are on and there’s Christmas music blaring from the kitchen. The whole house smells like sugar and cinnamon.

Following the smell into the kitchen, he finds the entire clan gathered. Ellie, Tom, and Fred (standing on a chair) are deeply engaged in some serious cookie-making while Daisy sits placidly at the table doing her homework, occasionally looking up with a half-smile. Aila is in her bouncer which is placed on top of the table. She wears a red and green onesie that says “Best Gift Ever.”

“ALEC!” Fred is the first one to spot him in the doorway. He flings his arms open, spraying flour everywhere.

Aila coughs. Ellie goes to her and wipes a hand down her face then pops her pacifier in her mouth. Alec goes to Fred, who hugs him and covers his navy blue jacket with flour.

Ellie smirks. “Best take that off."

“You’re all hard at work, I see,” Alec says, taking off his jacket and hanging it on an empty chair.

There are trays and trays of biscuits cooling throughout the kitchen, on almost every surface.

“Tom is really good at making biscuits,” Fred announces.

“Oh, not Mumma?” Alec says wryly, as if he can _hardly_ believe it.

“’m all right at it,” Tom says. What Tom _doesn’t_ say is: _Dad taught me_.

“Here.” Ellie walks straight to Alec with a frosted sugar biscuit in the shape of a snowman and holds it up to his lips. He grimaces. “God’s sakes, take a bite.”

He bites off the snowman’s head tepidly. They all watch in anticipation as he chews. After a moment, he nods. “Not bad actually.”

Ellie grins. “There we are.” She pushes herself up on her tiptoes and kisses him.

“ _You_ taste better,” he says, kissing her again.

“Not better than gingerbread!” Fred exclaims, holding up a gingerbread man, then dropping it quickly. “Hot hot hot!”

“Careful, little love.” Ellie walks past him and rubs his hand in hers.

“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” comes on. All three Millers seem to know every word. And accompany each one with a dance move. Alec goes to the table and Aila spits out her pacifier in anticipation. She’s getting closer and closer to smiling. He takes her out and holds her.

“Best gift ever, that’s right,” he says, kissing the top of her head. Then he touches Daisy’s shoulder. “All right, Daiz?”

She nods. “Bit mad in here.”

“And yet she’s stayed…” Ellie says, licking some frosting off her fingers.

“Just to try the biscuits while they’re warm,” Daisy replies.

“Baby is covered in flour,” Alec says, inspecting her and brushing some off.

“She’s fine,” Ellie replies with a shrug. “She loves it.”

Alec holds her to his chest and rocks her slowly back and forth. “What a good sport you are, Aila, love.”

“Here, Fred, bring the biscuit cutters over,” Tom says, dragging his brother's chair over to him.

Ellie dips her finger in shortbread batter and holds it out to Alec, eyebrow raised. He raises one back.

“Go on,” she says.

He sucks on her finger then nods his approval. “No complaints here.”

“Thought not.” She kisses him.

Then he holds onto her arm before she goes back to the counter. “Hey, El.”

She smiles at him.

“When did this become our life?”

Her face lights up. “Absolutely no sodding idea.”

Alec sits with the baby in his lap for the next thirty minutes, content simply to watch and enjoy his very busy, very festive family from the sidelines. He participates and jokes with them, but lets them do their thing. Every now and then he elbows Daisy, trying to get her to smile, and succeeds once or twice.

“Ooh,” Ellie says, suddenly, glancing over at him. “Alec, love, will you open a bottle of wine?”

His eyes widen, a curious smile playing on his lips. “You sure?”

She’s still not had a drop since she found out she was pregnant.

“Mm-hmm, it’s the holidays, time to dive back into the sauce,” she says with a worrying wink.

Alec shakes his head at her, then gets up.

“Give me the baby,” Ellie says, taking her from his arms. “Let me nurse her first.”

“Ah, good thinkin’,” he replies, dryly, then heads into the dining room to the bar.

Ellie sits down at the kitchen table, lifts up her jumper, and frees one of her breasts. Aila is delighted, she didn’t even have to fuss for it first. She is a very happy baby.

There’s the sound of the corkscrew popping, then Alec enters with two glasses of red wine and sets one down next to Ellie.

“Eat up, little girl,” she says to the baby.

While Ellie nurses, Alec takes his wine to the kitchen island and helps Fred decorate the biscuits as they cool. Tom is mixing his last bowl of batter. Aila falls asleep nursing and Ellie takes her upstairs, where she then pumps whatever she has left before the new batch gets contaminated. When she returns, baby monitor in hand, her boys are all engaged in a fastitidious clean up.

“I don’t believe it!”

“Only cleaning because we need more room for these biscuits when they come out,” Tom insists.

“Well, good, because I’ve got another little project for you.” She pulls out some plain ornaments and puts Fred’s craft box on the table. “We’re going to make our own ornaments.”

Daisy and Tom groan. Fred jumps off his chair excitedly.

“It’s our first real Christmas together as a family and I want us each to have an ornament of our own to commemorate the occasion,” Ellie explains, setting them all out on the table. “So pick your favourite and have at it.”

Tom and Fred seat themselves at the table with Daisy.

Ellie takes a sip of her wine, finally. “Oh, sweet nectar of the gods.” Then she looks at Alec and gestures to the table. “You too, Grinchy.”

Once their hand-crafted and slightly wonky ornaments are made, the family sets about finally decorating the tree. Daisy and Alec tag-team stringing the lights around while Tom and Ellie goes through the box of old decorations. Fred mostly jumps around in a Santa hat, until Alec asks him to “help” with the tinsel.

“Mum,” Tom says, after some time of hanging up the ornaments. “What happened to my popsicle stick frame?”

“Um.” Ellie locks eyes with Alec and gestures at Fred. Alec turns Fred away and keeps him busy. “The photo inside. It was your dad and me.”

“…Oh. Right.”

“There was no way of getting it out, it was glued inside, so I…”

“You tossed it.”

“Yeah. Sorry, lovely.” She touches his arm.

“’s all right,” Tom replies. “Makes sense.”

She pulls him to her and kisses his temple, then he goes back to hanging ornaments. Fred pulls the angel tree-topper out of the box.

“GOT THE ANGEL!”

“All right then,” Ellie says, rubbing her hands together. “Everything else settled?”

The box is otherwise empty and the tree is decorated to within an inch of its life.

“On with the angel then!”

Alec lifts Fred into his arms so that he can reach the top of the tree. With some difficulty, he manages to place it a little crookedly at the very top. Everyone claps.

“Well done, little love!” Ellie reaches for him, smooching him as she places him back on his own two feet.

They bask in the glow of the tree for a little while, all of them entranced by it, then Alec and Ellie put Fred to bed and the teenagers head off to visit their significant others, with the caveat that they be home by ten. It is a school night after all.

Once Fred is tucked in, Ellie goes to check on Aila. When she comes back downstairs, several of her Christmas-themed candles are lit in the living room, all other lights off. A Perry Como Christmas album is playing and Alec is waiting for her.

“Oh, no way,” Ellie gasps. “No bloody way.”

“Perry Como I can handle.” Alec holds a hand out to her. “But not much more, so don’t get your hopes up.”

She takes his hand, jaw dropped, and he pulls her to him, in the middle of the living room.

“Unbelievable,” she says, shaking her head. “Christmas music? Dancing? _Candles_? Who _are_ you, Alec Hardy?”

She slips her arms around his neck and he lays his hands at the small of her back as he starts them dancing.

“Relationships are about _sacrifice_ , lass,” Alec tells her, maintaining a straight face. “And bein’ in love means you find a way to love the things you might otherwise hate.”

"Or at least tolerate." She guides his head down until their foreheads are touching, then she kisses him. “How lovely you are,” she says softly.

They’re quiet for a moment, dancing slow and close, heads together, Perry Como singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” in the background. His hands slide down to her arse and he pulls her closer until every single part of them is touching.

“You’ll have to pace yourself with all this, love,” Ellie whispers. “It’s only December 5th.”

“Mm.” He closes his eyes and touches his nose to hers.

“It’s a long month for grinches. Even grinches in love.”

She keeps her hands at the nape of his neck, scratching at his scalp until he hums.

“Nights like these are all right by me,” he admits.

She guides his lips to hers and he kisses her slow and deep while she strokes his stubbly cheek. Then they dance for a while, cheek to cheek, everything to everything, while she whisper-sings along to the song.

As the song fades into the next, Ellie pulls back just a bit and looks down at herself. He looks too.

“…Leaking,” she says sheepishly.

“S’okay.” He pulls her back to him and kisses his way slowly from her neck down to her chest to her breasts, taking one in his mouth despite her jumper, licking the stain.

She giggles softly. “Alec.”

“Let _me_ ,” he pleads, sliding one hand underneath her jumper, keeping his mouth at her nipple. “You have to dump it anyway.”

“What,” she laughs. “You want my alcoholic breast milk?”

“Why waste it,” he murmurs.

The truth is, she loves that he’s not embarrassed by it or made uncomfortable. Loves that even now he has managed to discover yet another thing about her that he loves. And he makes her feel _good_ about herself, for something that could easily make her shy away. She finds the attention impressively dizzying.

She runs her fingers through his hair then kisses the top of his head. “Upstairs.”

He nods against her chest, then straightens himself up. “Upstairs.” He kisses her lips, then begins guiding her one step at a time toward the staircase, blowing out the candles and switching off the music as they go. As soon as they make it into their bedroom, he deftly pulls her jumper off, then takes her face in both hands and kisses her.

Then he’s on his knees, hard for her already, and lays his cheek against her stomach, holding onto her hips.

Ellie smiles to herself and thinks, _That’s step one complete_. And only December 5th, not too shabby.

***


	3. December 12th

**DECEMBER 12 TH**

When Alec arrives at work around 8:30 in the morning, he is astonished by what he finds.

The entire floor is draped with Christmas lights. There’s tinsel hanging everywhere. Holly, Christmas wreathes, North Pole figurines, red and green bows, and a fully decorated half-size Christmas tree in the corner.

He stands where he is, dumbfounded. His colleagues look up from their desks, some smiling, some laughing, some pretending not to notice. It’s a moment before he speaks.

“WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED HERE?” He shouts, as he continues through the office. “What frozen over North Pole hell is _this_?”

The floor is abuzz, whispers and snickering.

“I mean it!” Alec exclaims. “Who’s the arsin’ tosser who did this?!”

There’s an all too short silence.

“Hmm? Who is it?” He repeats, looking around the office.

It’s Brian, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, smirking, who speaks. “That would be your fiancee.”

Alec blinks at him, lips slightly parted. “What did you say.”

“ _Ellie_ , sir,” Brian says with a laugh. “Ellie did this.”

He shakes his head and starts to refute him when suddenly a drowsy 3am moment comes back to him. He remembers rolling over in bed reaching for her, finding her side of the bed empty and cold. He’d just assumed she was in the nursery with Aila.

Suddenly there’s the sound of a train whistle and Alec looks over to find there’s a toy Christmas train scooting down tracks behind him.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, I’ll bloody kill her.” He stomps toward his office, stopping when he sees the mistletoe hanging in the doorway.

“Bloody kill who?”

Alec reluctantly spins around. It’s Jenkinson. She’s looking around the floor, impressed.

“Well this is quite festive,” she remarks. “Bit of holiday cheer never hurt anyone I s’pose.” Then she shrugs. “Train’s a bit much.”

About an hour later, after he’s just finished briefing the team, the Christmas train passes by once and then Ellie appears, holding Aila’s carrier. Though normally her colleagues would break into enthusiastic greetings upon her arrival, this time they are quiet, not wanting to miss a second of the ensuing altercation.

“Oh, look at this! How fun! How utterly, utterly _joyful_!” Ellie exclaims, placing Aila’s carrier down on her empty desk. “What a gloriously festive – “

Alec holds a hand up to her. “Save it. I know it was you.”

Ellie immediately sets her sights on Brian and pouts in his direction. Then she looks innocently back to Alec. “Just a bit of holiday spirit, love.”

He looks at her, aghast. “A _bit_?”

Ellie takes Aila out of her carrier. She’s wearing a green onesie that says “Santa Baby” and a tiny Santa hat.

“Oh, you are _jokin’_.” Alec shakes his head derisively. “Christ’s sake, Ellie.”

“It’s a tiny Santa hat!”

“I know it’s a bloody – “

“Oh my god!” Harford exclaims when she sees the baby in the hat.

Then suddenly half the office is up, circling Ellie and Aila, cooing and admiring and nearly passing out from cuteness. Aila just looks around, only vaguely aware that there is anything on her head. Ellie holds her proudly and kisses her chubby little cheek.

This goes on until Alec can’t take it anymore.

“Oh for the love of – “ He grabs Aila out of Ellie’s arms. “Give me my baby.”

And then he stalks off into his office with her and slams the door.

“You see that, all of you?” Ellie says with mock horror. “He steals my baby then shuts me out!”

From inside the office they hear, “MY BABY TOO.”

Ellie winks at her co-workers. “That’s what he thinks.”

Inside his office, Alec sits behind his desk with Aila. He lays her on his lap, her tiny feet weakly kicking at his stomach. He places his hands on her stomach, holding her there. Not that she knows how to go anywhere or even roll over yet. She looks up at him expectantly, blinking like she’s just realized she’s doing it.

His instinct is to take the Santa hat off her. But he can’t. It truly is too cute, Christmas or no Christmas.

“Mummy’s a very bad influence on you, my wee lass,” he tells her. “Christmas isn’t all that. Expectations are too _high_ at Christmas, you see. Just like birthdays. You try to keep them low, but you can’t. That’s just the thing about special occasions. Like it or not they must meet a certain _standard_. And frankly it’s always impossible.”

Aila sneezes.

“Bless you.” He feels her face to make sure her temperature feels normal. It does. “You can’t meet expectations that don’t actually exist, you understand. Because this is the thing – no one _realizes_ they _have_ expectations until those expectations aren’t _met_. It’s an impossible situation,” Alec says. “It’s fun until it’s over and you wonder if you’ve done it right. If you had _enough_ fun, if you decked enough halls, jingled enough bloody bells.” He strokes her cheek with his index finger. “Mummy doesn’t understand that. Mummy is _much_ better at livin’ in the moment. So perhaps we’d better _let_ her be a bad influence on you.”

Ellie comes bursting through the door. “Think you can just run off with my baby, do you?”

Aila hears Ellie’s voice and starts kicking her legs. Ellie comes around the desk.

“What nonsense has Daddy been feeding you, little girl?”

Alec picks Aila up and sets her upright on her lap, leaning back against him. Her hat falls off and he puts it back on.

“Oh, _see_.” Ellie grins. “You _know_ it’s bloody adorable, don’t you?” She sits on the edge of the desk next to them. “Come on, it’s a _little_ bit fun, isn’t it? Shakes things up a bit at the very least. Good for morale.”

He sighs. “Ellie.”

“What?” She nudges his leg with her foot.

He looks at her, then looks down and says, “Work to do.” He holds out the baby to her.

“…All right.” She takes Aila, looking down at her. “Daddy is very busy and important, we must leave him be. Come on then.”

Ellie heads for the door. Aila lays her head on her shoulder contentedly. Ellie turns back. “See you at home?”

Alec flips through some paperwork. “See you later.”

*

Ellie doesn’t hear from him the rest of the day. He doesn’t even respond to the picture she sends him of Aila making a grumpy face when she’s all bundled up for the cold.

Alec makes it home around 6pm, which is only enough time for a baby hand-off before she has to leave. She has plans for dinner and Christmas shopping with Beth. Aila fusses a bit when she leaves, which marks the first time she has ever really noticed.

After two hours of shopping, Ellie and Beth exhaust themselves. They squeeze into a booth at the pub with all their bags. Beth orders a pint, and Ellie contemplates ordering one too, but she’s exhausted and knows that when she gets home all she’ll want to do is nurse her baby, not pump. So she orders a club soda, and they put in an order for food.

“All evidence suggests he is truly furious with me,” she tells Beth. “I mean, I knew he’d be a bit _grumpy_ about it at first, but I never thought it would turn into a _thing_ , a proper Thing.”

“Maybe it’s all just coupled with a bad day. Something else that has nothin’ to do with you,” Beth suggests.

“Then he’d _tell_ me.”

Beth shrugs. “Well maybe he _will_ tell you, he just hasn’t yet.”

Ellie shakes her head, looking down into her glass. “We didn’t even have a proper _fight_. He just went cold on me.”

“You’ll work it out. He’s a man of mystery, your Alec Hardy, but you always…you know. Solve it.”

*

When Ellie arrives back home around 10pm, Alec is in the living room pacing around with a fussy baby in his arms. She quickly deposits all her shopping bags and divests herself of her coat, and goes to the baby.

“Come here, little bug.” She lifts Aila out of Alec’s arms. The baby immediately starts mouthing at her chest. “I know, baby.”

Ellie sits down on the couch with her and unbuttons her shirt. She leans back against the couch and props her feet up on the coffee table, holding Aila close as she nurses. She closes her eyes, leaning her head back, and allows herself to relax. Aila’s little hand grips her shirt. Alec watches for a few moments, hands in his pockets, then retreats into the kitchen.

A while later, once Aila has had her fill and started to drift off, Ellie brings her upstairs and puts her down. Then she splashes some water on her face and goes back downstairs. She finds Alec on the couch now, where she’d been sitting just a few minutes earlier, with a cup of tea on the coffee table. He looks more exhausted than she feels.

Ellie stands in the doorway. “Hey.”

He looks up at her, then back down. She takes a breath and goes to the couch, sitting beside him.

“Are you _really_ so cross with me?” She asks, tucking one leg underneath her.

“…’m not _pleased_ ,” he replies without looking at her.

“Just a bit of _decoration_ ,” Ellie says. “I took it too far, I know that, and I’m sorry. But it was just meant to be a bit of fun.”

He nods slowly, staring at his lap. She squeezes his arm.

“ _Alec_.”

Then squeezes his knee with her other hand. He lifts his head a bit, almost looks at her, then doesn’t. She lets out a heavy sigh, then moves onto his lap, straddling him.

“Hey.” She takes his face in both her hands and lifts it until his gaze meets hers. “If you want to be cross, that’s fine, but you can’t just shut down on me, that’s not going to work.”

She manages to hold his gaze, then she leans forward and kisses his cheek. “I’m sorry.” She kisses his other cheek. “I _love_ you.”

His arms finally circle her waist and he dips his head, pressing his forehead to her chest. She runs her fingers through his hair soothingly.

“Oh, my sweet love.” She kisses his hair. “What’s got you all twisted up?”

“Mm.” He just wants to hold her. She knows he just wants to hold her.

He slides his hands up underneath her shirt, running them up and down her warm back. She strokes his hair and rubs his back and it’s unclear for how long.

Until finally he says, muffled into her chest, “Don’t wanna disappoint you.”

Ellie frowns. “What?” She lifts his head. “ _Disappoint_ me? How?”

“Christmas,” he says with a shrug. “Too many expectations. Easy to come up short. You, the kids. You’ve got to get it just right or the whole thing’s busted.”

She lets out a short laugh, and the truth is she’s just slightly relieved.

“Such a bloody spectacle,” Alec continues. “And ‘m no good at that. Grand gestures. Entertainment. The lot.”

She shakes her head. “Just about quality time really. And having fun. Go to a party, spend all day in your socks, drink, eat, dance.”

“But everyone has _expectations_ , whether they realize it or not,” he argues.

She purses her lips and nods slowly. “Well, all right, that might be true. But who cares? Just try to stay in the moment and have a good time. Enjoy the people you love, drink too much eggnog. If the worst that can happen is someone is disappointed, then so what? They’ll get over it quickly enough. Those are pretty low stakes if you ask me.”

He’s just looking at her. With those big, plaintive, questioning eyes of his.

“Look, I’m not going to sit here on your lap and tell you you could never disappoint me, never disappoint the kids,” Ellie says. “Cause that’s a load of bollocks. We’re _human_. We make mistakes, we hurt each other, we disappoint each other. But we get over it. Doesn’t matter in the long run. All I ever ask is that you _love me_ and you do your best.”

He nods slowly, eyes locked with hers.

“All right?”

“All right.”

She kisses him and he pulls her closer, hands splayed across her back. She keeps kissing him, hands holding his face, eventually parting his lips with her tongue. He invites her in with a soft moan, and she leaves him breathless.

“Now tell me how cute that baby was in that Santa hat.”

Alec smiles, a somewhat bashful ear to ear grin. “ _So_ soddin’ cute.”

“I _know_ , right?!”

He traces her jawline with his finger. “Our baby.”

She kisses him. “Our baby.” She kisses him again, then says, “Gonna turn her into an elf next time.”

“My heart can’t take it.”

“Shhh.” She places her palm over his pacemaker scar, then kisses him again. “We’re going to milk this Baby at Christmas thing for all it’s worth. Squeeze out every drop of cuteness we can get. Reindeer ears, a red nose, the lot.”

His eyes are shining. “I love her so much.”

Ellie grins. “Me too.” She plants a kiss under his jaw, then on his throat, before looking at him again. “Shall we go and stare at her silently for a while?”

He nods enthusiastically. “Yes, please.”

She brushes his hair out of his face gently. “No more wallowing?

“No wallowin’,” he agrees, squeezing her hips. “Just babies in costumes.”

“You old bloody _softy_.”

She hops off his lap and grabs his hand, pulling him up off the couch. “She started to make some weird snoring noises this afternoon, you have to hear it.”

“She sneezed in my lap this morning,” he replies, as she drags him up the stairs.

“She _sneezed_?”

“Just the once.”

“Fuckin’ hell, that’s too bloody cute,” she groans.

Once they’re outside the nursery, Ellie brings her index finger to her lips. Taking great care, she opens the door and they silently step inside the dark room. Only to find Aila awake, kicking her legs.

“Oh, you little menace,” Ellie says.

“Nice how she doesn’t cry though,” Alec remarks.

Ellie switches on the small elephant lamp. Aila’s eyes widen when she sees them. And she smiles.

Ellie and Alec both gasp. Then look at each other.

“Did you – “

“I did.”

Ellie goes to the crib and picks her up. “Oh, my _baby_ , oh, sweet girl!” She hands her to Alec, who holds her against his chest. Her favourite spot. She curls up.

“Well done, my wee lass.” He kisses her head.

Ellie smooches her cheek several times over. And she smiles again.

“Thank god she’s not inherited my angst,” Alec comments with a laugh.

Ellie kisses Alec’s cheek, then rubs Aila’s back. Then her face lights up.

“Oh quick! Get the Santa hat!”

***


	4. December 19th

**DECEMBER 19 TH**

It’s eerily quiet in the house when Alec comes home from work. He finds Ellie in the kitchen, washing dishes, while Aila is asleep in her bouncer on the kitchen table. Standing in the doorway, he finds her endlessly enticing in her long, green button-down top, close to sheer (one of her “easy access” tops, as she calls them, for nursing) and dark jeans, which she proudly wears again now that she’s back to her pre-baby weight. Her hair is messily swept up off her neck, a few stray curls sticking out. She is humming something he can’t quite make out thanks to the sound of the faucet.

She’s washing Fred’s Christmas plate, which he “made” last year in nursery, when he comes up behind her. She flinches, briefly startled, then quickly relaxes back into him with a laugh.

“Oh hello.”

“Hel _lo_.” He nips at her earlobe, hands roaming around her waist and torso.

“Can I help you?”

“Oh _can_ you.” He hands slide underneath her top, splaying over her stomach. His nose is in her hair. “God, you smell good.”

She covers his hands with her own. “I smell like baby powder and breast milk.”

“Mm-hmm.” He bites her ear and she lets out a little yelp. “Where is everyone?”

“Daisy’s at Jade’s, Tom’s at Erin’s, and Fred still at his playdate with Ryan, the little red-headed boy with glasses and a lisp? Remember? Adorable,” Ellie replies.

“Mm.” He’s busying himself with her neck, unconsciously moving his hips against her. “How long’s the baby been out.”

Ellie glances back at her and Alec kisses along her hairline. “Ten minutes maybe. Think the sound of the water knocks her out.”

“Good.” He unbuttons her fly.

“ _Alec_.”

“Drivin’ me _crazy_ …” He murmurs, slowly pulling down the zipper.

“Since when do you come home from work so bloody _horny_.”

“Since you’re not there,” he replies. “And I have to fantasize about you.”

“That is _not_ what you’re doing at work.” She tilts her head to the side and leans back into him.

“Then I come home and you’re all…sexy like that, the mother of my child just…lookin’ so bloody casual and, you know. Sexy.” He slides his hand down into her jeans.

“Ohh, no, no, no.” She tries to pull away but he’s got her in quite a difficult position. “I can’t, I _can’t_. This is the first the baby’s slept all day, and you know she barely slept last night, I’ve got to have a kip or I’ll absolutely shatter.”

He pulls his hand out and lets her turn around to face him. His expression is utterly dejected but his eyes are still dark and full of desire.

“Alec.” She touches his face sympathetically. “Darling. Sweetheart. _Lover_.”

“No, no,” he says haughtily, taking a step back from her. “You can’t apologize to me with words.”

She raises an eyebrow, one hand on her hip. “I’m not _apologizing_. I won’t apologize for being exhausted from taking care of your daughter for fifteen straight hours.”

He sighs dramatically.

Ellie refastens her jeans, then pats his shoulder. “There’s leftover chicken salad in the fridge if you're hungry.”

Then she exits the kitchen. Alec glances at the baby, still fast asleep, totally angelic. Then he goes to the fridge.

*

Ellie wakes up from her nap a few hours later. The house is still fairly quiet, so she surmises that Fred must already be in bed. She quietly sneaks into his room to check on him, asleep with his little mouth open and his limbs everywhere.

Downstairs, she finds Daisy half-watching telly while doing her homework on the couch. She pops her head in.

“All right, love?”

Daisy glances up, nods, then looks back down at her notebook. Ellie lets out a heavy yet determined sigh, then goes to sit next to her on the couch. Daisy frowns at her.

“Growing a bit tired of all this, lovely,” Ellie tells her, tucking one leg underneath her. “You can’t be cross with me forever just because I, _one time_ , told you Jade couldn’t stop over. Bit overkill.”

Daisy is quiet for a moment, shifting uncomfortably. She doesn’t look up. “Not cross with you, just…keepin’ an eye on my expectations is all.”

Ellie groans. “Oh, you and your father, both. What’s that mean then?"

“You know, it’s just. I’ll be goin’ off to uni soon and…right now you’ve got the baby and…all of Dad’s needs. Fred and Tom…”

“I have a family, is what you’re saying,” Ellie says frowning. “Of which you are a part. So I’m afraid I’m not following.”

Daisy shrugs. “Not much time for me, is there?”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“It’ll be _easier_ , won’t it, if I start distancing myself _now_ ,” Daisy explains.

Ellie is fully appalled, leaning back and frowning. “How’d you think all _this_ up? Load of bollocks, this is,” she says. “You are as much my child as the other three, as far as I’m concerned there’s no difference, and it hurts me to hear you imply otherwise.”

“But why? Why should that necessarily be the case?” Daisy replies. “Just because you love my father doesn’t mean – “

“First of all. I love you because I love _you_. And second, of course it’s the case. My love for your father _of course_ inspired my love for you, and I don’t see what’s bad about that. Your dad made you and he’s a part of _me_ now and so like it or not, so are you. We love our children unconditionally no matter _how_ they come into our lives,” Ellie tells her fervently. “Aila doesn’t change any of that, I hope you know. I have _two_ daughters. Seventeen years apart. Which frankly is just _lucky_. Nothing could be luckier for her than to have you as her big sister. So tell me. What exactly is the problem?”

Daisy’s eyes are filled with tears and she’s trying valiantly not to look at Ellie, knowing there will invariably be tears in hers as well.

“ _This_ is the problem,” she mumbles.

Ellie reaches for her hand. “What, love?”

“Don’t want to leave you.”

“Oh,” Ellie exhales. “Oh my darling.”

“Easier to try and hate you.”

“Come here.” Ellie places an arm around Daisy’s shoulder and pulls her close. “All right, two things. _One_ is you’ll hardly miss us. You’ll be thrilled to be on your own and making new friends and cultivating whatever the rest of your fabulous life is going to be. We’ll have to _beg_ you to come home. _Two_ …if for some reason you do get homesick, we’ll pay your way home from wherever you are, absolutely any time, and you’ll be back in a flash.”

Daisy nuzzles into Ellie’s shoulder. “I wish I’d had you earlier.”

Ellie squeezes her tighter and kisses the top of her head. “Me too, lovely. But just look around and see how lucky we are _now_ , yeah?”

Daisy snorts, then sniffles. “Soppy.”

“Just enjoy your time with us as best you can,” Ellie reasons. “We adore Jade, we’re happy to have them here much of the time. But remember to enjoy your family too. Pushing us away will do you no good, I promise you.”

The faint sound of a baby crying interrupts the moment.

“Dad will get her,” Ellie assumes.

Daisy snuggles into her for a few quiet moments, though the baby is still crying in the background.

“Are you still thinking about Edinburgh?”

“Yeah, Stirling too,” Daisy replies.

“Do you have any idea how much it would thrill your father if you went to school in Scotland?” Ellie asks. “He would be beside himself.”

“Not Glasgow though,” Daisy says firmly. “That’s _too_ much.”

The baby’s cries then mix with a loud Scottish exclamation. “ELLIE! She’ll not take the bottle!”

Ellie sighs and smiles. “That’s my cue then I'm afraid.”

Daisy sits up. “Thanks, El.”

She takes the girl’s face in her hands. “Please, _please_ come talk to me the next time you’re feeling out of sorts like this, all right?”

“Yeah, all right.”

“EL!”

“I’M BLOODY COMING!” She kisses Daisy’s cheek. “Now finish that schoolwork, you.”

Ellie quickly scurries upstairs. In the nursery, Alec is hopelessly bouncing a crying Aila.

“Not interested in what I have to offer,” Alec says shortly, handing the baby to her.

“’s all right.”

Ellie sits down in the rocking chair and nurses her, wiping her little tear-stained cheeks.

“Need a shower,” he announces, then swiftly exits the room.

“What’s all this, little bug,” Ellie whispers softly. “You know Daddy gets all worked up when he can’t calm you. And then _Mummy_ has to be the one to talk him down. Very inconvenient.”

Tom quietly pushes the door open a little further. “Mum?” He whispers.

She looks up with a smile. “Hi, lovely.”

“Just wanted you to know I’m home.”

“Ta. Have a nice evening at Erin’s?” Ellie asks.

Aila drops her head back, looking for Tom once she recognizes his voice. Tom covers his eyes at his mother’s exposed breast.

“Mum.”

Ellie chuckles and guides Aila back to the nipple. This is an adorable but slightly vexing habit of hers. She has to see _everything_.

“Sorry. She’ll not be left out, will she?”

Tom ignores this. “Can Erin stop over when Daiz and I mind Fred tomorrow night?”

“Fine with me, but be warned that Daiz will then want to invite Jade. And I won’t have you couples ignoring poor Fred,” Ellie replies.

“We won’t,” he insists. “Night, Mum.” And then, in a soft voice, “Night, Aila!”

“Night, love.”

*

Once Aila is back down, Ellie trudges into the kitchen looking for a snack. She grabs a jar of peanut butter, a spoon, and a cup of tea, then heads back upstairs. In the master bedroom, the door to the loo is open and she can hear Alec cleaning his teeth. She sets down the tea in her nightstand then walks into the loo with the peanut butter, spoon in her mouth.

Alec, clad in only a towel, raises an eyebrow at her through the mirror. “Is that dinner?”

Ellie shrugs. “It’s after ten, wasn’t going to _make_ something.”

He shakes his head.

“This is what happens when your sleep schedule is nonexistent,” she says, shoveling another spoonful into her mouth.

“Disgusting.”

She grins at him, mouthful of peanut butter. “Thank you.” Then she heads back into the bedroom.

Ellie sits down on the edge of the bed, absently scrolling on her mobile. “You still cross with me ‘cause I wouldn’t shag you earlier?”

She hears him make a very vague noise of annoyance. “Wasn’t cross with you.”

“Yes, and now you’re cross ‘cause the baby wouldn’t let you feed her.”

He spits toothpaste into the sink. “Do you think it’s helpful to _list_ all the things I’m cross about?”

“See, you _are_ cross!” She exclaims with perverse glee.

Having finished with her peanut butter, she sets it on the bureau and goes back into the loo, where he is trimming his beard.

“Oi, stop that,” she demands, standing behind him, arms circling his waist.

“Baby keeps goin’ at it,” he replies. “Have to keep it short in case she learns how to _pull_ anytime soon.”

Ellie chuckles, planting a kiss on his bare back, then lays her cheek against it. “Daisy and I mended things.”

His eyes widen in surprise and he puts the razor down. “Did you?”

“Turns out she was – and this is very, very _you_ , by the way – trying to distance herself as an act of self-preservation, for when she leaves for uni,” Ellie explains. “Unbelievable. Do _not_ pass that angsty self-preservation on to Aila.”

“Really,” Alec says quietly, processing.

“Says she doesn’t want to leave me. Wishes she’d had me sooner.”

“Well.” He reaches for the hands now holding steady at his waist. “So do I.”

She plants another kiss somewhere in the middle of his spine. “All worked out, didn’t it?” Then she bites into his shoulder.

He groans. “Ellie…”

“Yes…?” Her fingers trail the edge of his towel.

“Just because _you’ve_ gone and had a kip, now you expect _me_ to – “

She unknots his towel and lets it drop. Then she grins at him mischievously through the mirror.

Her hand travels down to stroke his cock. “You were saying?”

“Nnnng.” His eyes roll back in his head a bit. She curls her fingers around him and strokes him to life, all the while pressing soft kisses into his back. Despite himself, he groans under his breath, “ _Fuck_.”

“I’m well worth the wait, aren’t I?” She asks coyly, dragging her tongue up his spine.

“You – “ She cups his balls. “Jesus.”

“Thank you, I agree.”

With one hand she runs her thumb of his tip in a slow, circular motion. And with the other, she squeezes his arse. “My _man_. My big, tall Scottish…hunk.”

He’d raise an eyebrow if he had the physical capacity to do so right now.

“Sexy detective…” She drags her teeth across his shoulder. “Hot dad.” She bites into him.

“Hot dad, huh.”

“Oh yeah.” He’s fully hard now, but she keeps stroking. “Hot Dad Hardy.”

He whirls around suddenly and pushes her back against the open door, causing a loud banging noise. He immediately sticks his tongue down her throat, hands grabbing at every part of her they can reach.

“Guess that makes you a… _MILF_ ,” he growls.

She bites his lower lip. “Oh yeah?”

“Or rather…” He licks her lips with his tongue. “A mother I’m _goin’_ to fuck.”

She grabs both arse cheeks, pulling him tight against her. “You bloody well are.”

In a frenzy, he starts unfastening her jeans, and this time when he slides his hand down into them, she doesn’t pull away.

“That’s it,” she pants, looking up at him, burning.

He kisses her hard as his hand rubs her through her knickers. It’s all biting and sucking, desperate and rough. Then he spins her around, lifts her up onto the sink, and yanks her jeans all the way off. Practically salivating, he goes straight back to kissing her.

“Mm,” Ellie murmurs. “Careful now. Fucking on top of the sink got us a baby last time.”

He plunges his hand into her knickers and she gasps. “I’ll risk it.”

She grins, leaning back against the mirror, hands behind her propping her up. His eyes are burning into hers as he thumbs her clit roughly, hair falling into his face. They’re both entirely wrapped up in the _joy_ of it, the night ending not at all as they had, by this point, expected. That they can still fuck on top of a sink with a three-month-old baby in the next room is utterly thrilling to them. That they still _want_ to is the most immense relief possible, dispelling all their fears of post-baby life.

She can’t get over the way he’s _looking_ at her, the _heat_ , the determination. It’s like he wants to devour her whole.

“ _Christ_ , Alec,” she exhales, weakening at his hand and under his gaze.

She leans further against the mirror, arching her back, and he realizes instantly that he’s got to get her bloody top off or he’s going to die. He removes his hand from her knickers and pulls her forward, eliciting a yelp from her, guiding her to sit up. Then he begins unbuttoning her top, panting. But there’s too many buttons and he gives up when he gets close to the bottom and just opens it, pushing it not quite over her shoulders.

“So fuckin' hot,” he mutters, unhooking her bra from the front. Best thing about these nursing bras. They truly are easy access.

He pushes her back against the mirror again, burying his face in her breasts and returning his hand inside her knickers.

She’s grinning again, cheeks fully flushed, delighting in every second. She goads him on with a succession of breathy _yes_ exhalations, then catches a glimpse of how hard he is.

“Go on,” she says, causing him to look up at her. “Go on and fuck me, Detective Inspector.”

He merely _growls_ at her in response and she lifts her hips so he can yank off her knickers. He repositions her a bit, accidentally pushing her into the faucet.

“Ah, _shite_.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

He pulls her forward a bit. She holds herself up with her palms pressed back against the mirror as he pushes into her.

“Oh god.”

“Yeah?” He tries to toss his sweaty hair out of his face. “You like that?”

She nearly chuckles. “ _Yeah_ , I like that.”

“Good.”

He wraps one arm around her back and grips her thigh with the other, face in between her breasts as he starts slamming into her, not wasting any time. Trysts on sinks can only last so long. As they well know.

“That’s it,” she says. Her leg involuntarily kicks the door behind them and crashes it into the wall again.

He looks up at her with a cunning grin which he passes along to her. Then he dips his head and takes her breast in his mouth and she bucks her hips into him. When he hears her start whimpering, he hooks an arm under her thigh, changing the angle. He waits for her to come, then follows her. He collapses into her chest just after she slams her head back into the mirror, then he reaches up to cradle it and pulls them both upright.

Her heavy breathing turns into laughter and it inspires him to the same.

“Oh.” She throws her arms around his shoulders and drops her head against him. “Bloody hell, that was fun.”

His fingers trail up and down her slick back, underneath her top, which is half-hanging off. “Was, wasn’t it.” He grins against her cheek, then kisses it.

“Blimey.”

He lifts her off the sink to standing, still holding her against him. They lose their balance a bit and fall back against the door, causing it to slam for the third time. They burst into laughter again.

“I love you,” she says, kissing him.

“I love you.”

Ellie pulls back a bit and begins unbuttoning her top the rest of the way. “Gonna hop in the shower quickly.” She pulls off the top and lets her bra slide down her arms.

“Was nice and clean myself before _you_ had at me,” he remarks, swatting her arse as she walks over to the shower.

Fifteen minutes later, he’s in bed, starkers, having had no interest in putting any clothes on after that. He’s got his reading glasses on and a book open. Ellie comes out of the loo in her dressing gown, towel-drying her hair.

“How’re you feeling about the party tomorrow?” She asks, leaning against the wall.

He grunts in response without looking up from his book.

“Don’t try to get out of it,” she warns him. “The only reason you got out of it last year is because we were still a secret and I didn’t think we could make it through the party without bloody touching each other. All that alcohol and… _cheer_.”

He snorts. “Unquestionably the right choice.”

“It’s going to be _fun_ this year. We can touch each other as much as we want.”

He snorts again. She disappears back into the loo and when she returns she’s rubbing moisturizer into her face.

“We’re going to drink eggnog, and maybe other things, dance, annoy everyone with baby pictures, and I’ll chase after you with mistletoe all night.”

He smirks a bit at that, glancing up from his book. “Won’t have to chase me.”

“Really? You won’t have an office to drag me into.”

Alec frowns.

“It’s at that old Italian restaurant off the high street,” she reminds him.

“Bollocks,” he sighs.

“Be nice to get out of the station.” She stands in front of the mirror and dabs on some eye cream. “Get pissed and let loose a bit, maybe. Everyone will take pity on us ‘cause it’s our first real night out since the baby so we’re in the clear.” She turns to face him again. He’s put the book down. “I always used to love the office holiday do.”

He eyes her. “Year before last you were three sheets to the wind as I recall."

Ellie grins and sighs wistfully. “I can hardly remember. It’s glorious.”

“Was very hard not to take advantage of you that night.”

She raises an eyebrow, sitting on the edge of the bed to rub lotion on her arms and legs. “Is that so?”

“You had a _devastating_ wee skirt on. _Very_ wee,” he replies.

She leans over and whacks his leg. “How do you remember that! _I_ don’t remember that.”

“Had your hair all done up. Naughty little see-through blouse.”

“I did not.”

“Was naughty to _me_.” He smiles at the memory. “Extremely _flirty_ that night, you were.”

She shakes her head. “Lying bastard.”

“’m not!” He exclaims, insulted. “At one point nearin' midnight you dragged me aside and said, ‘It’s so funny how you’ll _never_ kiss me.’ And then you walked away.”

Ellie’s jaw drops. Then closes quickly. “Now I _know_ you’re lying, there’s no bloody way you stayed at that party ‘til _midnight_.”

“’Course I did,” he replies. “I stayed for you. To see you home. After I watched you finish your third G&T I knew I couldn’t leave without you. Unless of course you left with someone else.”

She smiles. “But I didn’t.”

“But you didn’t. And I saw you home, all the way to the front door, where I left you with Lucy, who’d been mindin’ the boys. She said somethin’ cheeky which I thank god cannot remember and then I went home.”

“God, I can’t believe I don’t remember that,” Ellie says, turning to him, a hand on his ankle through the blanket. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Dunno.” He shrugs. “Never came up.”

She exhales. “ _It’s so funny how you’ll never kiss me_?”

“Verbatim,” he says. “It’ll not surprise you that I’ve never forgotten it.”

She just laughs at herself, shaking her head.

“Didn’t know what to make of it.”

“No, why would you?” She agrees.

“ _Funny_ , you said. _So funny_.”

“Can’t imagine I actually found it so hilarious,” Ellie remarks.

“Well, you certainly did at the time.”

She pats his knees then gets up again, disappearing into the loo briefly before re-appearing again.

“Well, you’re not getting out of it this year, anyway. I’ve bought a brand new dress.”

He looks at her over the rim of his glasses. “Oh?”

“You’d bloody well better _believe_ I want to show this body off again, post-baby weight,” she announces firmly. She’s never been overly vain, or enthusiastic about her looks, but she’s proud of how hard she’s worked to lose the weight and has recently decided never to take feeling good about herself for granted ever again.

Alec’s interest is suddenly very much piqued while he is, at the same time, mildly terrified. He sometimes thinks he’d prefer it if she never wore dresses in public. Only for him. But then, he does like showing her off. As evolved as he may be, his nonetheless very male brain makes a mess of the whole thing when she dresses to, um, impress.

“…Can I see?”

“You’ll see tomorrow.”

“Just a peek?”

She eyes him then walks into her closet. He sits up with anticipation. When she comes out again, she’s wearing a Santa hat. He sighs. But then as she slowly walks toward the bed, she unties the dressing gown and lets it fall off her, revealing a whole lot of nothing underneath. He swallows.

“How are we feeling about Christmas _now_?”

**


	5. December 20th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd hoped to have this whole story finished by Christmas, but who was I kidding???
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by my need to see Olivia Colman in the famous Fleabag jumpsuit. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then first of all: WATCH FLEABAG ALREADY. But also, here it is: 
> 
> [https://bec2df9eb90bb6604cfc-660d71a7a33bc04488a7427f5fddcedf.ssl.cf3.rackcdn.com/uploads/product_image/photo/57fb6bc7ec60467dc600186b/large_2016_10_07_Ben_Jazmine_Love_59791.jpg ]()
> 
> [https://bec2df9eb90bb6604cfc-660d71a7a33bc04488a7427f5fddcedf.ssl.cf3.rackcdn.com/uploads/product_image/photo/57fb6bb9ec60467df1001424/large_2016_10_07_Ben_Jazmine_Love_59811.jpg]()  
> 
> 
> Anyway, one or two chapters left after this I think. Thank you so much for reading, hope you're all having a lovely holiday, if you celebrate!

**DECEMBER 20 TH**

The second Ellie puts the phone down, Tom is at her side.

“Did you get a veggie for Erin?”

“I ordered three bloody pizzas for the five of you, surely she’ll find _something_ ,” Ellie replies.

She’s in her dressing gown, hair wrapped up in a towel, tidying up the kitchen.

“Can I go get sorted now please?”

Tom leans against the counter. “I just don’t understand why Granddad can’t take care of Aila _here_ and mind Fred while he’s at it.”

“Because it’s too much for him, love, he can’t do Aila _and_ Fred, he’s bloody _seventy_ ,” Ellie tells him. “And we don’t know how Aila is going to take to being without us for so long, it’d be too much to put on Granddad’s plate.”

Tom groans. “Fine.”

“Just put on _Home Alone_ , that’s something you can all enjoy. He’ll be in bed before you know it.”

She squeezes Tom’s arm as he sighs, and then she heads upstairs.

In the bedroom, Alec is already mostly dressed in his suit, sans jacket – not especially different from the suit he wore to work – with a special spit up rag accessory to protect it from the baby in his arms.

“I thought she was asleep,” Ellie says, breezing into the room and going straight to her dresser.

“Obviously she’s woken up.”

She throws him an expression that’s part smirk, part glare through the mirror. “Careful, she’ll ruin your suit.”

“Rather hold my baby than protect my suit, but I’ve got a cloth here just in case.”

She starts doing her makeup. Alec walks around the room aimlessly with Aila, bouncing her lightly.

“You should feed her before you get dressed,” he suggests.

“Gee, you think?”

He cringes a bit. “You’re snappish.”

“Sorry. Bit…nervous, I think,” Ellie admits. “First night leaving her alone. First night really… _out out_.”

“All gonna be fine, love.” As he walks past her, he leans down and kisses the top of her head. He looks down at the baby. “What do you think, Aila, you goin’ to survive without us for a few hours? Let Mummy have a few drinks. Maybe even snog Daddy in the car for a bit.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow through the mirror. She finds him looking right at her. “Mm-hmm.”

“You do, you know,” he says.

“Do what?”

“Get pissed and like to snog in the car on the way home.”

She scoffs. “Been nearly a full year since I got properly pissed.”

“Yes, tonight ought to be an adventure,” he says. “I’ve missed Tipsy Ellie.”

“You _hate_ Tipsy Ellie,” she argues.

He shrugs. “Depends on what’s in it for me.”

“There’s always something in it for you, I’ve never understood how you could _possibly_ complain.”

Alec sits on the edge of the bed where he can watch her put on her makeup. He holds Aila in his arms so she can look up at him.

“You see, darlin’, Mummy gets good and randy when she’s had a few.”

“ _Alec_.”

“And that’s a lot of good, clean fun for Daddy. Good _dirty_ fun rather,” he tells her. “We had a lot more good dirty fun before you came along, my wee lass. In fact that’s how we _got_ you.” He kisses the baby’s forehead.

Ellie looks back at them. “Daddy is good and randy all the _time_ , is the problem.”

“Not _all_ the time,” Alec replies haughtily. “Just when you’re around. Or when I’m thinkin’ about you.”

She directs her gaze to Aila and whispers, “ _All the time_.”

He looks down at Aila, then up at Ellie. “We’re terrible parents.”

She laughs. “Least Fred’s given up all his talk about ‘doing sex’ all the time.”

“Christ that was a nightmare of a phase.”

Alec looks down at Aila to find she’s just spit up all over herself. “Oh, dear.” He grabs the cloth and wipes her mouth, then dabs at her onesie.

“This is what we get for talking about our sex life in front of her,” Ellie says. “We’ve gone and made her retch.”

Alec stands. “Goin’ to go change her clothes.”

He takes the baby into the next room. When he returns, Aila is in footie pyjamas with reindeer on them, and Ellie has a full face of makeup on and is working on her hair.

“It’s just the team, you know,” Alec says, watching her curiously.

“It’s not just the team, it’s the whole bloody station,” Ellie responds. “And anyway it’s not about them, it’s about _me_.”

“All right.”

Fred comes running in through the open bedroom door. “Mumma Alec Mumma Alec.”

“ _Yes_ , love,” Ellie says, turning in her chair to face him.

“Tom says we’re gonna watch _Home Alone_ but I wanna watch _Home Alone 2_.”

Ellie just looks at him, then looks at Alec. She doesn’t have the strength.

“You know what, lad?” Alec says. “If you start now, maybe you can watch _both_.”

Fred thinks about this briefly, then springs to action. “OKAY!” He runs out of the room again.

Ellie stands. “All right, give me the baby.” Alec hands Aila over to her. “You’d better savor this, little girl, because it’s bottles for you for the rest of the night. And martinis for Mummy.”

She goes to the bed and lies against the headboard, pushing her dressing gown to the side so Aila can nurse.

“ _Martinis_ , eh?” Alec glances at her before going into the loo.

“Tipsy Ellie is truly coming out to play tonight.”

When he comes out of the loo a moment later, she is quietly singing “Winter Wonderland” to Aila, who is kicking her feet while she eats. Ellie is stroking her cheek.

Alec leans against the doorway. “Could watch this all day and all night,” he says, and is startled when he feels a tear pricking at him.

Ellie looks up, eyes narrowed. “What?”

He walks over to the bed and sits on the edge. “Best part of my day, watchin’ you two like this.”

“Aw.” She makes a face at him, then holds her hand out. He takes it and kisses it. “Sweet.”

Alec strokes her leg absently, her dressing gown having fallen to the side. “It’s like a work of art.”

Ellie blinks at him and shakes her head. “Nonsense.”

“Seriously, Ellie, you’ve no idea how gorgeous you are together.” He bends down and kisses her knee.

She smiles. “No one would ever believe you talking like this. They’d tell me I was lying through my teeth.”

“Best if no one knows anyway,” he replies gruffly. “Have a reputation to maintain.”

Aila flexes her fingers against Ellie’s breast, like she’s trying to grab it but doesn’t _quite_ have the strength or the focus. Ellie shivers and lets out a short laugh.

“Ticklish.”

Alec can’t not grin. “She’s gettin’ good at all that, isn’t she? The grabbin’.”

“Not good _enough_ , apparently,” Ellie laughs.

“That’s the way she is with my beard,” he says. “Sort of scratches at it. Like she knows she wants to do somethin’ to it but she doesn’t know what.”

Ellie smiles and beckons him closer with her index finger. He leans forward and she reaches for his cheek, scratching his beard lightly, then kisses him. He smiles against her lips then pulls back again.

“Nice, that,” he says, and it’s clear she’s made him a little weak.

Aila lets go of Ellie’s nipple and tips her head back, looking up at her mother with expressive eyes, clearly trying to communicate.

“She’s finished that one off, well done.”

Ellie maneuvers her to switch sides, and Alec helps out by pulling the other side of her dressing gown down to expose the other breast. Aila takes it eagerly.

“She’s got quite the personality for an almost four-month-old, I must say,” Ellie remarks. “Tom was basically dead weight until about six months.”

Alec laughs out loud, surprising even himself. Ellie laughs too.

“It’s true. He was _adorable_ , but showed no signs of any kind of…character traits for ages. He was just along for the ride. Very stoic,” she says. “Aila has _opinions_. And a certain _style_ to her.”

“Mm.” Alec nods. “Very aware of her surroundings.”

“She’s _strategic_ , I’ve been telling you. She already knows how to get what she wants.”

“She’s not strategic, Ellie,” Alec says with a sigh. They’ve had this discussion a few times now.

“She is, she’s _cunning_. She knows how to communicate with those giant brown eyes of hers. And those long lashes.”

As if on cue, Aila glances up at her mother innocently as she nurses.

“Oh, you see?”

“Not possible.” Alec shakes his head. “Though I agree she is obviously a genius and will without a doubt run the country some day.”

Aila lazily grasps at her breast again. Ellie shakes her head at her. “Little menace.”

“They’re _love_ grasps,” Alec tells her earnestly. “It’s like when she mouths at you with her slimy little gums, they’re _love_ bites.”

Ellie eyes him. “Yup, just wait until she starts pulling and pinching. See how you like a good love _pinch_.”

He wriggles his eyebrows. “Like a good love pinch from _you_.”

She smiles at him, then down at Aila, and is quiet for a moment. “Look I know this pregnancy was an accident and it was not at all what we had imagined for ourselves, but I am incredibly grateful that I have a baby with you,” Ellie says softly. “I wouldn’t have known what I was missing.”

Another tear pricks at him as she looks over at him. Then he crawls over her onto the bed and sits by her side, shoulder to shoulder.

“You’re gonna wrinkle your suit,” she says, with a sniffle. 

“Don’t care.”

He turns her head toward him and strokes her jawline, then leans in and kisses her, slow and gentle. She smiles, glancing from his lips to his eyes.

“We’re gonna be late.”

“Don’t care.”

He kisses her again, then lays his head on her shoulder, with the perfect view of Aila nursing. She spots him and smiles, nipple still in her mouth, and it’s so cute he nearly bursts into tears. Then she goes right back to eating like it never happened.

“You’d think we starved her,” Ellie says.

“We don’t have to go to this party, do we?” He asks hopefully, planting a kiss on her collarbone.

She elbows him gently. “We are going to this sodding party, Alec Hardy, and I don’t want to hear another word about it. You’ve had every night for the last three months to sit around and stare at her.”

Aila stops nursing, her tongue lolling about in her mouth, and her hand moves to start grasping at Ellie’s nipple.

“ _Nope_ , all right, she’s done.” She holds her out to Alec. “Take her please while I finish getting ready.”

Alec crawls out of bed, then takes the baby from her.

“And if she starts to fall asleep, put her in the carrier, will you? Don’t want to wake her when we bring her to Dad’s.”

Ten minutes later, he returns to the master bedroom without Aila. And finds her in a form-fitting, shockingly revealing jumpsuit. It’s dark green and she’s added a red belt, and she’s in a modest pair of black heels. Her hair is partly pinned back and you could see her bright red lipstick from Mars.

“Uh.”

Startled, she turns to him, smoothing herself out before placing her hands on her hips. “What d’you think? Is it all right?”

“Um.”

He swallows. She looks at him uncertainly and he realizes he has to make himself clear, so she doesn’t second-guess herself.

“Sweetheart.”

Ellie frowns. He never calls her sweetheart. “What?”

He takes a couple steps toward her and gestures toward her vaguely before dropping his hands at his sides again.

“You look incredible.”

She blinks and her lips curve into a nervous smile. “Yeah?”

Alec closes the gap between them and rubs her arms. “ _Yeah_.” He looks her up and down. “Is it – are you – how – “

“ _Tape_. They’re taped in,” she says, looking down at her breasts. “Don’t let me forget to bring the pump along, keep it in the car just in case.” Then her expression morphs into one of embarrassment and fear. “Oh, fuck’s sake, who am I kidding? I think I can go out, wear something like this? All the while needing to keep a bloody breast pump in the car? What a _dolt_.”

She turns away from him and heads to her closet.

“Hey hey hey.” He follows her, puts his hands on her shoulders and turns her around to face him. “Wear it. You’ll knock on ‘em all dead in their tracks.” She appears unconvinced. He reaches out and takes her face in his hands. “You’ve earned this.”

She nods. “Okay.” She looks down, then up at him again. “You called me _sweetheart_.”

He lets out a short laugh. “Well, we’re goin’ to be an old married couple soon. May as well get used to it.”

Her eyes widen. “ _God_ , we _are,_ aren’t we?”

He leans forward and kisses her. “Get your things together. Kids are already halfway through _Home Alone_.”

“Fine then. Sweetheart.”

They leave Fred with the teenagers and their significant others, then ferry Aila off to David’s. He’s beyond thrilled to have some time alone with his granddaughter, but also mildly trepidatious because he hasn’t been alone with an infant in quite some time. Alec hands David a typed one-sheet of instructions, which he spent far too much time crafting at work earlier in the day, and they thank him profusely before kissing the baby incessantly on their way out the door again. They can hear Aila crying as they get into the car.

“Let’s go back,” Ellie says.

“No,” Alec replies gently, covering her hand with his. “She’s goin’ to cry, Ellie. She just watched us both disappear from view at the same time. She’s goin’ to cry. Two minutes from now somethin’ shiny will catch her eye and she’ll be right as rain again.”

“Right. You’re right.” She takes a breath. “Let’s go.”

When they walk into the restaurant where the party is being held, no one seems to notice them. They slip in quietly, handing off their coats to be checked. It’s only when Ellie's coat comes off that something in the room shifts. One person notices her, then the next, then the next.

Alec reaches for her hand as she turns red. “You’re goin’ to be very popular tonight, lass.”

All the women at the party are “so impressed.” They “can’t believe” how good she looks. They’d like to know “how on earth you did it!” Diet, exercise, and sheer determination, she tells them. She’s nearly forty-four. She had to double down if she was ever going to succeed.

The men milling around think it’s so good to see them “out and about.” They tell Alec he’s “done well.” Many of them would also like to know if it’s “a bloody nightmare” to have an infant at his age. It’s not. He’s thrilled. He’d never sleep again for the rest of his life if it would make his daughter happy.

Ellie orders a gin martini at the bar while Alec sticks with a pint. He’ll no doubt be driving home later. He tries not to follow her around like a puppy. Though he’s found a couple of people in Broadchurch besides her that he doesn’t hate, really none of them work for the Broadchurch Police. He talks to Jenkinson for a while, but it gets to feeling like they’re the chaperones of a high school dance. So he alternates between bringing Ellie water and bringing Ellie martinis. He joins her in a few conversations, a hand at the small of her back, fingers caressing her lightly.

At some point, Alec realizes that this is really the first major work event they’ve attended as a couple, despite having been together for fifteen months now. They avoided events early in their relationship to keep it secret, then avoided them in order to spend more time with each other, and once Ellie got pregnant she was far too exhausted and far less keen to attend without the promise of alcohol. And then in the nearly four months since Aila was born, they’ve hardly left the house at all after dark.

Most people are used to their relationship now. It no longer elicits surprise and side-eye glances from those around them. But there’s something about this evening that feels not only like a bit of a coming out party for post-partum Ellie, but for their new deeply settled relationship. They are not an office fling, they are not just giving it a go. They have a house, they have a baby, she has a ring on her finger. The status of their relationship could not be more clear.

When Alec thinks of it this way, he feels a distinct sense of pride. He loves the way they can communicate silently from across a room, how he knows exactly what she’ll need before she needs it. He adores the way she instinctively looks for him wherever he is, just to catch a glimpse, just to check in. A touchstone. He’s even quite pleased by the way people look at her. She does in fact look brilliant and it gives him a physical thrill just to remember that she is _his_. Whatever happens, she will go home with him tonight. They will leave hand in hand, pick up their adorable baby, and go home to their beautiful new house. And there’s not one thing that could happen at this party that could change that. It’s a sense of security he feels. And, for once, a sense of belonging. He’s finally gotten it right.

Ellie is showing off baby pictures on her mobile the next time he finds her. Several of their co-workers are gathered around. He comes up behind her and kisses the top of her head. She grins up at him, then continues showing off their baby to her captive audience.

Half an hour later, she’s dancing. He watches from his place at the wall, chuckling into his pint. Occasionally she points in his direction but he just shakes his head. Jenny, whom he has hardly seen all night, appears at his side with a G&T in hand.

“Right bunch of idiots, aren’t they?” She observes with a laugh.

“Each and every one.”

She turns and looks him up and down briefly. “You two are holdin’ up, it seems.”

“’m goin’ to regret sayin’ this, but we have an easy baby,” Alec tells her. “Quite content much of the time. Got one of those ‘just happy to be here’ faces on her.”

“ _Good_ ,” Jenny replies, taking a sip. “You two _deserve_ an easy baby.”

He smirks. “Funny the ways our personalities have blended together in her. A surprisingly lovely combination.”

“Not so surprising. You complement each other. Only right that your child might be a manifestation of that,” Jenny says. “But she’s only little now, isn’t she? So who’s to say what’s really in store.”

“Mm.” He nods, throwing back what’s left of his pint.

“Ellie looks like a million bloody quid, by the way. Christ almighty, I’m weak.” Jenny shakes her head, staring at Ellie, and walks away.

A few minutes later, Ellie strides toward him with a glass of water and chugs it. She’s glistening a bit with sweat from the dancing and the color looks good on her.

“Havin’ fun?”

“Smashing time.” She catches her breath. “You?”

“Can’t complain.” He combs a hand through her sweaty hair, pushing it back. “Dunno how long I can watch you strut around in that jumpsuit without draggin’ you off to the coat room though.”

She lays her hands on his chest and kisses him. “You’re lovely. Have another pint. I’m going to dance a bit more.”

He smiles and nods, squeezing her arm before she goes off again.

After that, he finds himself in a conversation with Hal, then excuses himself to check his mobile, looking for word from the kids. Daisy’s sent a message confirming that Fred is down for the count. She and Jade are going to go out for a bit, but Tom and Erin will stick around. No word from David. He’s anxious, so he sends David a text.

**All right over there?**

Then there’s some sort of Secret Santa that he doesn’t remember being invited to participate in. Apparently Ellie’s taken care of it for both of them. She sits on his lap during all the chaos of unwrapping and Alec feels perfectly content. No one bats an eye. They’ve succeeded in becoming _normal_. And frankly, after everything, he’s all right with that.

His mobile buzzes and he digs it out of his pocket.

**All’s well here.**

He shows it to Ellie, who nods, then puts it back in his pocket. She keeps one arm around his shoulders as they finish up with the gift reveals. He reaches for her other hand in her lap surreptitiously and threads their fingers together, then plays with them, uninterested in the festive proceedings before him.

Then people begin trickling out, saying their goodbyes, kissing cheeks. Ellie is caught up in this delayed exodus for a good while, being that her co-workers have hardly seen her in four months. When Alec finally gets her to the door and helps her with her coat, they’re two of the last remaining people in the restaurant. Which is _never_ his intention.

They walk to the car hand in hand, Ellie happily humming something festive. Upon reaching the car, Ellie opens the back door on her side.

“What are you – “

“Get in the back,” she demands, crawling into the back seat.

He stands where he is, looking around the mostly empty car park.

“Get _in_!” She hisses.

He opens his back door and gets in beside her. Ellie shrugs off her coat and crawls onto his lap.

“Car snog me,” she insists, settling her bent knees on either side of him.

“Ah yes,” he replies.

Impatiently, she car snogs _him_.

“Mm.” He kisses her back but he’s hesitant. “Anyone might see.”

“Who cares,” she says between kisses. “We’ve got four bloody kids at home, they’ll understand.”

She pushes him back against the seat, her whole body pressing into him as she kisses him long and hard. Then she finds his hands and brings them to her breasts. She leans into his hands as he strokes them slowly and deliberately, like he’s feeling her up for the first time. She’s panting into his mouth by the time she reaches for his belt buckle. He slides one hand down to rub between her legs. But before she can unzip his trousers, he stops her.

“We can’t.”

“Wha?”

“Your stupid – whatever it is!” He gestures at her outfit.

“Jumpsuit,” she says sadly, realizing the problem. “Christ, you’re right.”

“You’d have to take the whole bloody thing off for us to get anywhere.”

Ellie sighs and rolls off of him onto the seat. “Bollocks.”

They sit dejectedly for a moment, then both get out of the car and into their front seats.

When they pull up outside David’s flat, they realize how late it is. Nearing midnight now.

“Dad must be exhausted,” Ellie says, as they head upstairs to his.

They can hear Aila fussing from outside the door. David opens it with a very sleepy baby in his arms.

“ _Hi_ ,” Ellie says in a high-pitched whisper, as David steps back to let them in. “Oh, do we have a cranky little bug this evening?”

Aila is whimpering half-heartedly, like she’s too tired to cry. When she sees her parents, she starts kicking her legs and whimpering a little louder, this time for them.

Ellie holds her arms out and takes her. “Oh, sweet _baby_ , hello, my love.” She holds Aila tightly to her chest and rocks her from side to side.

Alec runs a hand over her head, what little feathery dark brown hair she has. “Hi there, darlin’.”

“She all right for you?” Ellie looks up at her father.

“Up and down,” David says, collapsing on his couch exhaustedly. “She’d do fine for a while then it would be as if she suddenly remembered you were gone and she’d get a bit grumpy again.”

Aila starts mouthing at Ellie’s chest, making desperate little whining noises. “Shhh, no, my love, I’m sorry.” She shifts her a bit, then reaches for Aila’s baby blanket hanging on the chair and covers her with it. “I’m afraid it’s bottles-only tonight, bug.” Aila keeps whining but Ellie holds her tightly, one hand at her head, until she relaxes into shoulder. Ellie looks at Alec. “Hand me her pacifier?”

Alec sees the pacifier on the coffee table and puts it in Aila’s mouth. Her eyelids become heavier.

“That’s a good girl, Aila. Good girl.” She kisses her head and rocks her.

David and Alec are both a little in awe of her.

“She eat?” Alec asks suddenly, shaking out of it.

“The whole bottle you sent with her.”

“Good.” He finds the baby carrier and brings it over to Ellie.

Ellie kisses the baby a few more times, then gently transfers her into the carrier, pulling down the shade.

“Thanks so much, David,” Alec says.

“Thank you, Dad.” Ellie goes to her father and leans over to kiss him on the cheek. “You’re lovely.”

“Never have to thank me for spending time with my granddaughter.”

At home, everyone seems to have gone to bed. Daisy and Tom are in their rooms with their lights on. Alec checks in on them to see how the evening went, and more importantly to ensure that there are no _visitors_ in their rooms. Ellie puts a very clingy Aila to sleep, which takes more time than she’d hoped, then she retreats into her bedroom to change into her pyjamas and pump.

She trudges downstairs in a loose t-shirt and pyjama bottoms to find Alec in the living room watching _White Christmas_ on the telly. He’s still in his suit, sans jacket now. She crawls onto the couch beside him, curling up against him.

He gestures to the mug on the coffee table. “Tea. Gone a bit cold now.”

She reaches for it, takes a sip, then puts it back down. “Look at you watching a Christmas film.”

She grabs the massive fuzzy blanket off the back of the couch and covers them both with it, snuggling into him.

“Sorry the evening had such a decidedly unsexy end,” Ellie says apologetically.

“Pretty content, as it happens.” He holds her tightly and kisses the top of her head.

“Did you enjoy the party?”

“Enjoyed _you_ at the party.”

“Ha.” She lays her head on his shoulder. “You know what I was thinking?”

“Mm, what.”

“Thinking I’d like to take Hardy on. When we get married,” she tells him. “I think that’s…that’s what I want.”

He pulls to the side to look down at her in surprise. They’ve not discussed her taking his last name in any serious capacity since the night he proposed to her. She was on the fence then, not sure where it would leave the boys. In particularly romantic moments since then, he’s occasionally called her _Future Mrs. Hardy_ , but purely because it turns them both on, not with any expectations.

“…Really?”

She smiles. “Yeah. I mean, it’ll be a conversation with the boys, of course. Been thinking Tom might not be as hard as sell as we thought. It’s harder at fifteen, naturally, but he might be glad to be rid of the name, plus he’ll get to be Tom Hardy.”

Alec blinks. “Like _Tess of the D’Urbervilles_?”

She frowns at him. “No, like the _actor_ , you twat. Tom Hardy?”

Nothing.

“Well, whatever, he might be interested in the idea,” Ellie continues. “And of course I think Fred would be delighted.”

He smiles down at her. “You’d like to be Mrs. Hardy, eh?”

She grins. “Yeah, what of it.”

He bows his head and kisses her softly. “Might be a bit weird at work.”

“Ah.” Ellie shrugs. “Everyone calls me Ellie anyhow.”

“Yes, but imagine me introducin’ you to others,” he says. “’I’m DI Hardy and this is DS…Hardy.”

Ellie snorts. “Just call us The Detectives Hardy.”

“Awful.”

“Terrible.”

But they’re smiling. He turns to face her more fully, arms still around her. She turns in as well, swinging her legs over onto his lap.

“Very nice Christmas present, this,” he says, unable to stop smiling.

“ _Early_ Christmas present,” she corrects him. “More where this comes from.”

He kisses her more firmly this time. On the telly, the big theatrical performance in _White Christmas_ is about to start.

“Oh, watch, watch.” Ellie turns her head to the telly. “This is the best bit.”

***


	6. December 22nd

**DECEMBER 22 ND**

At 7am on Sunday, Alec is on the front porch unraveling string lights. Considering he’s just purchased them, he finds this incredibly vexing. That done, he begins the process of hanging them along the porch rails and the outside of the house.

The front door opens and Ellie appears in her dressing gown, holding Aila in her footie pyjamas.

“What on earth are you doing?”

He glances up. “Fred wanted to know why all the other houses in the areas were lit up. And not ours.”

Ellie frowns at him, blinking in confusion. “It’s December 22nd.”

“Better late than never.”

Aila buries her face in Ellie’s shoulder to shield from the cold. “Are you sure you – “

“Not goin’ to get on a bloody ladder or anythin’,” Alec assures her gruffly. “Just…round the porch and in the bushes, up the stairs.”

“You’re doing all this for Fred?”

“I – “ He exhales, taking a breath, then looks up at her. “Yeah. But, you know. We’re homeowners now. We’ve got this place, may as well…enjoy it.”

She smiles. “Come in and warm up soon, yeah?”

Then Fred comes running toward the door, fully dressed in puffy winter gear. “Mumma Mumma, I’m gonna help Alec, kay?”

“Look at you all bundled up, well done, love,” Ellie replies. “Go on then. Just until breakfast.”

Ellie returns inside and finds Daisy hard at work in the kitchen. Tom is sitting at the table on his mobile, no help at all, while Daisy flips pancakes.

“Why, Daisy Hardy, shall I believe my own eyes?”

“Chocolate chip pancakes,” Daisy says with a grin. There’s red and green food dye in them. “Extra seasonal.”

“Oh, Fred is going to lose his _mind_.” Ellie goes over and plays with her hair. “Thank you for taking care of breakfast.”

Ellie sits down at the kitchen table with Aila in her lap and looks over at Tom.

“You _could_ be more helpful, you know,” she says.

“What?” He glances up from his mobile. “Daisy won’t let me.”

“God’s sakes, set the table or something,” Ellie tells him. “Or go outside and help Alec and Fred with the lights.”

“ _God_. _Fine_.” Tom gets up and trudges out of the kitchen.

“Bloody useless sometimes.”

Daisy starts frying up some bacon.

“Daiz.”

“Hmm?”

Ellie is squinting at her suspiciously. “I can’t help but feel you’re trying to soften a blow of some sort. Or butter us up.”

“Emphasis on butter,” Daisy quips. “No. But I do have to tell you that Mum is coming in a little earlier than we thought.”

They agreed that this year Tess would come to Broadchurch for Christmas. Daisy didn’t want to miss out on their first real Christmas as a family, and Tess of course did not want to celebrate Christmas without Daisy. So they’d agreed she’d come in on Christmas Eve, stay at the Trader’s but join them for most of the festivities, and then leave on the 26th.

“How much earlier?”

“Tomorrow.” Daisy cringes.

“Well that’s not so bad, lovely,” Ellie insists. “Just a day early.”

“A day with Mum goes a _long_ way,” Daisy replies, flipping a pancake.

“We’ll all be too busy to notice.” Ellie has realized that time, for her anyway, goes much faster with a baby. She hardly knows where the last few months have gone. “Does Dad know?”

Daisy bites her lip. “Will you tell him?”

Ellie nods. “Yes, yes, fine.”

“Thank you!” She tends to the bacon. “ _Also_. I happened to notice that today Aila is four months old.”

Even Ellie hadn’t realized. To be fair, she is frequently unaware of what day it is just generally. “Oh!” She looks down at the baby in her lap and bounces her. “So it is! Four whole months.”

Aila looks up at her, smiling while trying to keep her pacifier in her mouth.

“Gosh, it seems like _ages_ ,” Ellie says, lifting her up and smooching her cheek. Then she looks at Daisy. “Does it feel like ages to you?”

Daisy nods. “Sort of can’t remember what it like _before_ her.”

“Babies tend to take over everything, don’t they?” She cradles Aila in both arms, and Aila is happy to be able to look up at her. “Her presence is so bizarrely massive for such a tiny thing.”

“I’m amazed she’s so big,” Daisy says. “Kind of seemed like she’d look like a tiny preemie forever.”

“Well, when all you do is eat and sleep…” Ellie smirks down at Aila, then looks back at Daisy. “Quite pleased myself, to be honest. She’s grown quite rapidly, she’s just about the size of the average infant her age now. Clever girl.”

Daisy flips a pancake and it lands directly on top of another. “Oi.”

“Give that one to Fred.”

Breakfast is devoured in record time. All of them gathered around the table, ravenously stuffing their faces. Now that all the kids are on their winter holidays and even Alec is finished with work through the New Year, they can take their time, enjoying more meals together than usual. This is Alec’s first time taking the winter holidays fully off from work. He’s been off from December 20th, the holiday party, and will go back to work on January 2nd. In the past, he’s not been able to tear himself away for so long. But after his two weeks of paternity leave a few months earlier, he is keenly aware of what he misses when he’s at work. And if the kids are all home, that’s where he needs to be as well. In particular with Daisy going off to university next year.

“Are we still going ice skating today?” Fred asks, in a bit of a whine. He’s in a phase where nearly everything he says, for no particular reason, sounds a lot like whining.

“Oh yes,” Ellie replies, wiping some crumbs off Aila’s face. Holding a baby in your lap while eating is the sort of multi-tasking she fears she will never master. “Well, you, me, and Daisy are.”

“YES!” Fred exclaims. Finally whine-free.

“Alec and Tom are going holiday shopping.” She says it with a stern glance at both of them. “And taking the baby with them.”

Alec and Tom look at each other, both dreading the afternoon. One quality they share is a deep, unabiding hatred for shopping. Daisy snorts. The idea of this is purely hilarious to her.

“Skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate,” Fred mutters to himself while bouncing in his chair and playing with his food.

After breakfast, they all dart off their separate ways to get sorted for the day. Aila falls asleep in Ellie’s arms and she puts her down while Alec tidies up the kitchen. When she returns, now dressed for the day, he’s nearly done, wiping down the counter. She comes up behind him, arms circling his waist, leaning her forehead to his back.

“Hi,” he says with a smile, bringing his hands to hers.

She holds him tighter, turning her head to press her cheek against him now. “Hi.”

“All right, love?”

“Mm-hmm,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry you have to go shopping but at least you got out of ice skating.”

He groans. “Thank you for that.”

Alec turns around in her arms and wraps his around her too. Then he leans down and kisses her. One, twice, three times. Her eyelashes flutter as she looks up at him so he kisses her again.

“Mmm. You know what I want more than anything in the world?” She asks.

“Hmm.”

“To be _alone_ ,” Ellie says. “To be completely and utterly _alone_ with you. Can you imagine?”

He pulls her against his chest and rocks her ever so slightly, kissing her hair. “Ah yes.”

“No kids. Not even the threat of kids. No work. No mobiles. No breast pumps,” she muses wistfully. “Just you, me, some wine, all the food we can eat…all the food _I_ can eat at least…a warm bed. Just for one night even.”

“Mm.” He squeezes her. “I know.”

Then they can hear Fred barrelling down the stairs, his ice skates clanging together. “MUMMA, LET’S GOOOOOO.”

And then the baby starts crying, the sound blaring through the monitor sitting on the counter.

Ellie pulls back and they smile at each other a little wistfully as they prepare to head to their respective battle stations.

“See you later?”

He kisses her. “See you later.”

*

To be honest, Alec and Tom have virtually no idea which shop they’re even in. They’ve driven to Bristol in the hopes of widening the net, but the problem is they don’t quite know what they’re looking for.

In the first shop, the pram had proven too cumbersome, so Alec has Aila strapped to his chest.

“Just two blokes and a baby,” Tom quips, as they move through some kind of antique shop. “Up next on ITV.”

Alec had thought Aila might fall asleep by now, but she is very much awake and very much alert.

“What does Erin actually _like_?” Alec asks. It’s easier to focus on Tom’s gift problem than his own.

“Marvel films. _Harry Potter_ books in other languages. Rihanna.”

Alec frowns. “Hmm.”

“I mean, what makes something a Christmas gift specifically? Like, I have to get her something I wouldn’t normally get her?” Tom questions, already exasperated.

“Not necessarily. But I s’pose the idea is for it be…you know, significant in some way.”

Tom flips through some old records. “But what’s significant?”

Alec shrugs. “Only you know that. ‘Cause significant is significant to _both_ of you.”

“That is bloody impossible.” Tom is glaring at Alec as if this conundrum is somehow his fault. “That’s like, an impossible standard.”

“Right you are. And this is why Christmas is rubbish.”

They move on to the next shop. Its wares seem to mostly include jewelry and various trinkets.

“Women like necklaces and stuff, yeah?” Tom asks.

Alec nearly scoffs at the idea of sixteen-year-old Erin being referred to as a _woman_ , but he lets it go for the sake of his relationship with Tom.

“Sometimes. Yeah. But sometimes I reckon jewelry is a bit too easy, eh?” Alec replies. “Bit of a cop out.”

Tom stops and looks at him. “Didn’t you get Mum jewelry?”

“Ah. Technically, but – no.” He pats Aila, who is starting to make vague gurgling sounds. “It has significance and it’s more…I mean, yes, it’s a _jewel_ , but it’s not – “

Tom has grown tired of this explanation already. “Okay, whatever.” His eyes scan over a rack of earrings. “This whole reading minds thing is bollocks. Like how am I supposed to know?”

Alec sighs heavily. “Look, I’m not an expert by any means. But what I do know about women is this. They want to feel loved, they want to be respected, and they want to be listened to. So if you can find somethin’ that proves those things to her somehow, you’ve done fine.”

“Still a pretty high bar though.”

“Yeah, you’re not kiddin’.”

Suddenly Tom stops where he is, eyes wide. “Are you getting Mum more than one thing?!”

“I – yeah, but – “

“I have to get Erin more than one thing?!”

“ _You_ don’t, no. You’re teenagers, you’ve been together, what, six months?” Alec replies. “Whole different situation with your mum and me.”

Tom groans loudly and rubs his face in frustration.

“Just get her somethin’ you know she’ll like. Just focus on that,” Alec says. “Cause at this point just gettin’ her _somethin’_ is better than gettin’ her _nothin_ ’.”

After another hour of anxiety-fueled shopping, they find a café for lunch. Aila sleeps in her pram next to table.

“So.” Tom takes a bite of his sandwich, suspense building while he chews. “Is it weird having a baby again?”

Alec mixes up his salad with his fork. “Not as weird as it should be, probably. It’s odd how quickly things just become _normal_. Babies take up so much brain space, it’s hard to put them out of your mind even when they’re out of sight.”

Tom nods. “Been kind of weird seeing Mum all baby baby again. Never thought it would happen again after Fred. Especially after – “ He takes a bite, and uses it as an excuse not to finish his sentence. “I think it’s like…I didn’t notice it when Fred was born, probably ‘cause I was still a kid at the time, but now, at fifteen, it’s like I’m _watching_ Mum be a mum to someone else. Not that she’s not a mum to me but it’s like…a different thing, you know? It’s like she’s Fred and Aila’s mum now. And I’m like, that lovable cousin who lives with them.”

Alec is a bit unmoored by this, and can’t decide whether to laugh or frown.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Tom says quickly. “Not like, a criticism. I don’t feel neglected or anything. It’s just sort of like I have an…outsider’s perspective on my own mum. Does that make sense?”

 _Not really_ , Alec thinks. “A bit,” he says.

“I can sort of imagine what she was like with me when I was a baby by watching her with Aila. Like I can see parts of my childhood I don’t actually remember,” Tom explains. “Except…I mean obviously it would’ve been different ‘cause Dad was around. But. Close enough.”

Alec is concentrating, trying to commit enough of this to memory to tell Ellie later.

“I’m so glad Aila’s not like, a disaster though.”

“…Disaster how?” Alec glances over at the sleeping baby in the pram.

“Like she’s not a screaming pain, right? After the first few weeks she wasn’t even really keeping us up most nights,” Tom replies.

Alec snorts. “Speak for yourself.”

“All right, yeah, but you know. She’s like pretty chill honestly. And cuter than most babies.”

Alec would have to agree on that score at least.

“I was honestly pretty worried we’d be living in a madhouse after she was born. Between her and Fred. But it doesn’t…I dunno, it doesn’t feel that weird. She kinda makes sense. I guess.”

Alec is internally quite moved by this. He glances over at the baby again, then back at Tom. “Sure she’d be glad to hear you say that if she could.”

“Also thought you’d both fight a lot more. But you don’t,” Tom says. “’Least not that I can hear.”

He isn’t exactly alone in that. Alec himself has been pleasantly surprised at how well he and Ellie have eased into co-parenting an infant. So far, anyway.

“Helps me not to worry about the two of you,” Tom adds. “If you’ll last.”

Alec blinks at him. “Were you worried about that before?”

“Not like, actively. But they always say not to rush into things, and you two…well.”

Alec nods, understanding now, and puts his fork down. “I know it seems like we rushed into things. But your mother and I had been years in the making. You know that.”

“Yeah.”

Aila starts to stir in her pram. Alec glances over. “Best feed her before we get back to it.”

“Can I do it?” Tom asks.

Alec tries to hide his smile, knowing how that can scare a teenager off. “Course, lad. Have at it.”

*

Ellie, Fred, and Daisy spend enough time at the ice-skating rink that they start to feel numb. And Ellie is half-convinced she will not be able to walk in the morning. But it’s lovely to have some time with Daisy and Fred alone, the three of them being the more adventurous, festive members of the family. When they finally leave the rink, they head to the café for hot chocolate and sit together in a booth. As Fred sips his drink, he is all questions.

“What if my letter to Santa gets lost in the mail?”

“What if Santa loses our address?”

“What if Santa doesn’t know we moved?”

“What if I can’t fall asleep on Christmas Eve? Will Santa still come if I’m awake?”

“What if Santa runs out of all the presents I want? Will I get a gift card?”

Ellie, and occasionally Daisy, answer them as best they can, making every efforts to keep a straight face.

Once his questions are answered, he occupies the rest of their time talking about the new _Star Wars_ film, which he will be seeing later tonight. Ellie and Daisy nod and smile patiently, exchanged bemused glances and humoring him kindly.

As they leave the café, Fred says, “I love not having a baby.”

*

Alec and Tom arrive home in the early evening hours, shortly after the sky has darkened. Ellie, Daisy, and Fred are sitting on the floor around the coffee table in the living room, building a gingerbread house.

Tom is immediately insulted. “You started the gingerbread house without me?”

Alec is amused to watch the newly fifteen-year-old revert back to his childhood self as he sprints over to join them.

“We saved you the windows!” Fred announces with pride.

Ellie stands, heading into the foyer as Alec extricates Aila from her carrier.

“There’s my sweet baby.”

Alec smirks. “Reportin’ for duty.”

Ellie rolls her eyes. “Not you.” She holds her arms out to a sleepy Aila, who has clearly just woken up after the lengthy car ride. “Hello, my love.” She holds her to her chest and kisses the top of her head as Aila snuggles into her. Then she pushes herself up on her tiptoes to give Alec a quick peck on the lips. “Did she eat?”

“Not very much.” He pulls the half-empty bottle out of Aila’s bag. “Think she’s holdin’ out for the real thing.”

“Oh, thank god, I’m just _bursting_.”

He chuckles as Ellie walks over to the couch, unbuttoning her top as she does. She sits down and Aila nurses all too enthusiastically.

“Mumma, help us!” Fred complains, his displeasure at Aila’s return pouring out of him.

“In a few minutes, love.” She exhales, leaning back against the couch. She was very close to having to pump and her relief is palpable.

Alec watches Daisy, Tom, and Fred work diligently, and surprisingly cooperatively, on the gingerbread house for a moment before moving to join them. Then Ellie opens her eyes and looks at him.

“Love, can you take a look at the window in the kitchen?” She asks. “The one above the sink. It’s not closing properly and all the cold air is getting in.”

He nods and trudges into the kitchen dutifully. By the time he returns, about twenty minutes later, the gingerbread house is complete and his family is admiring their work with great pride.

“Boys, you better go and get yourselves ready now,” Ellie tells Tom and Fred. “Olly will be here any minute.”

Tom and Fred spring to action and go running up the stairs. Olly, in town for the holidays, is taking the boys to see the new _Star Wars_ film.

“Daiz, you’re still heading to Chloe’s?”

“Yep.” Daisy stands. “Going to watch bad Christmas films on Netflix. _Christmas Prince 3_ is out!” She heads upstairs as well.

Ellie holds a hand out to Alec and he helps her off the couch. “Will you put her down?” She asks, transferring Aila to him. “Beth and Lucy will be here soon, I’ve got snacks to prep.”

“Ah, right.” He had forgotten. Every year Beth, Lucy, and Ellie watch _Love Actually_ and drink too much wine.

Alec takes Aila upstairs and into the nursery. She’s fussy, clearly a long day of shopping has exhausted her as much as it’s exhausted him. It takes a good thirty minutes of rocking and bouncing and soft humming to get her down. He turns on the sound machine before closing the door behind him, and good thing too, because the minute he enters the hallway he can hear three women cackling from the living room downstairs.

Settled with full glasses of wine, Ellie, Beth, and Lucy have yet to even cue up the film. Daisy is running out the front door as he descends the stairs, and Alec catches a glimpse of Olly’s car pulling out of the drive with Tom and Fred at the same time.

He stands in the doorway of the living room, hands in his pockets, watching the women with slightly grudging amusement.

“Oh.” Beth glances up and catches sight of him. “DI Grumpypants is among us.”

Ellie looks over, then back at Beth briefly. “That’s DI Shitface to you.”

Beth grabs Lucy’s shoulder, ready to burst with laughter. “What is it you said to Ellie once?”

Somehow Lucy knows _exactly_ to what she is referring. And Beth remembers at the exact same time. Together they exclaim, “OH HARDER, HARDY!” And bend over laughing.

Ellie laughs too, but gets up from the couch, glass in hand, and goes to him. “What’ve you got on tonight, love?” She asks, touching his shoulder.

He raises both eyebrows. He’s trying to focus on her, and not go completely red thanks to Beth and Lucy. “What’ve I _got on_?”

Nothing. He never has anything on. Not unless it’s with her.

“Well, it’s no good you sticking around _here_ ,” Ellie says. “Why don’t you go out?” She rubs his arm.

Alec blinks at her, then pulls her just out of the room conspiratorially, acutely aware of Beth and Lucy’s eyes on them.

“And do what exactly?”

Ellie looks at him sympathetically. “You’ll think of something.” She touches his cheek, then kisses the other one. “Have a night to yourself.”

The notion astounds him. He realizes he’s not had a night to himself in well over a year. And he hasn’t wanted to.

“Uh.” He glances around, as if looking for ideas. “Right then.”

She nods, offering him a look that clearly says, _You are an adult, figure it out._ Then she heads back into the living room, calling back, “I love you!”

After a brief moment of confoundedness, he grabs his jacket off the coat rack and heads out the door.

It’s cold, no question, but it’s no match for his Scottish upbringing. He decides to walk, taking the long way down to the high street. Anytime he’s walked for any length of time lately he’s done it with a pram. It’s odd, this sudden feeling of freedom. A freedom he did not ask for and does not want. He moves about aimlessly, feeling like he ought to take this time to reflect. On his life, on all the changes, on the year. But somehow it’s more appealing to him to empty his head, to observe his surroundings, take in all the details. He remembers, for a few seconds, his old broody self, staring off cliff tops into the ocean, with no idea if his life would ever turn around.

But beyond that thought, he stays in the moment. On the high street, he walks past strangers and familiar faces alike. Folks engaged in last minute holiday shopping and outings. Christmas music seems to be coming out of the pavement itself. And he will admit that Broadchurch looks quite festive and lovely during the season, all done up with decorations.

Alec ends up at the pub, stepping inside like he’d intended to when in reality he hadn’t known he would until it was happening. It’s about two-thirds full, and he does a quick scan to make sure there’s no one he knows lurking around before sitting at the bar. He orders a pint from Sam the bartender, whom he acknowledges with a friendly tone only because he knows Sam is friends with Ellie.

It hadn’t ever occurred to him to make plans of his own. Or that Ellie would insist he leave the house. He sometimes forgets she has a life of her own. Because he doesn’t.

He orders a second pint, just because he can.

He wonders, for the first time, how it is that people make _friends_. How has he done it in the past? When he was young, he wouldn’t say it was _easy_ but it seemed to happen when he wasn’t paying attention. And he never had many. But he certainly had enough. Now in this new iteration of his life, he has no idea how to do it. Especially not in this town, where people are still wrestling with their first impression of him. They are warming up to him, certainly, thanks to Ellie. And even moreso now, thanks to the baby. Everyone loves a scruffy middle-aged man walking down the high street with a baby strapped to his chest. They can’t resist. But he’s still DI Shitface to most of them, even those who don’t work with him.

Then remembers Jocelyn. His one friend, okay, fine, he’ll admit it. He sends a text.

**Fancy a pint?**

It only takes a few minutes for her to respond, **A scotch perhaps.**

Jocelyn is at the pub within fifteen minutes and joins him at the bar. Sam the bartender brings her a scotch without her having to ask.

“Maggie’s nieces and nephews have taken over the house,” she complains. “They want to go out caroling. _Caroling_.”

Alec grimaces.

“Disgraceful,” she adds, taking a sip.

“Found my lot buildin' a gingerbread house tonight,” Alec tells her. “But then I was sent off to fix a window.”

“Well, you’ve got _kids_. Proper _children_.” Jocelyn swirls around the liquid in her glass. “Maggie’s family are all bloody adults.”

Alec nods solemnly. “Ellie’s got Beth and Lucy over. Watchin' some bloody Christmas romcom. Kids are all out. Baby’s asleep. And here I am…” He raises his glass. “Nothin’ to do but drink.”

She clinks his glass with hers. “Nothing quite like a good escape now and then.”

“Don’t want to escape. That’s the problem.”

“A house with four kids and you don’t want to escape?” Jocelyn’s raised eyebrow announces that she refuses to believe it.

“Well.” He vaccilates. “Like to escape now and then, but _with Ellie_. Not on my own. No idea what to do on my own.”

She smiles into her glass. “Need to cultivate a hobby or two, DI Hardy.”

He smirks back at her. “’m a simple man, Jocelyn. Give me a pint and my lass and I’m satisfied.”

Alec orders another pint when Jocelyn orders her next scotch. They commiserate about the festive nonsense that is the holiday season and together yearn for when at last it ends. Jocelyn eventually takes a taxi back home, no longer able to drive herself due to her failing sight, and Alec is content to walk back home again.

When he reaches the house, most of the lights are off. Judging by the shoes in the foyer, everyone has returned home safely from their respective activities. After getting himself a glass of water in the kitchen, Alec makes the slow trek upstairs, hoping desperately that Ellie has not gone to sleep already. He sees the light on their bedroom, the door just slightly ajar. Ellie is layong atop the covers on her side of the bed in a loose t-shirt, drinking from a water glass of her own and scrolling on her mobile. He breathes an obvious sigh fo relief.

“Hey there, stranger,” Ellie greets him with a smile, putting her mobile down.

He closes the door and goes straight toward his closet, exhaustedly stripping himself of his clothes. “How was the film?”

“Same as it is every year.” She watches him, eyes a bit glassy. “What did you do?”

“Walked a while. Ended up at the pub,” he replies. “Convinced Jocelyn to join me.”

“ _Oh_. That was a fine idea.”

Stripped down to his briefs, he doesn’t bother changing into pyjamas. He crawls onto his side of the bed, then keeps moving toward her.

“Hi.” He kisses her.

“Hi.”

“I missed you today.” He moves on top of her, covering her entire body with his, head nestled between her neck and shoulder.

She wraps her arms around him. “S’pose we didn’t see each other much, did we?”

Alec closes his eyes, reveling in the warmth of her body. “Dunno what to _do_ without you,” he confesses. “I mean that, ‘m not bein’ romantic.”

She smiles and kisses the top of his head. “You’ll begin to figure it out with time. Tonight sounds like it was a decent start.”

“Mm.” He shifts a bit so that he can touch her breast, stroking it lightly, absently for a while as they lie quietly. “Boys enjoy the film?”

“It’ll be impossible to quiet Fred in the morning, I guarantee it,” Ellie replies. “I was looking around for a tranquilizer when they got home.”

“For him or for you?”

She laughs. “ _Him_. Thank god I was tipsy and could handle it well enough. Don’t know how I managed to get him into bed.”

He starts massaging her breast now, watching himself do it. “Baby wake up at all?”

“Once.” She strokes his hair. “But she went back down fairly easily.”

A wet spot appear on her t-shirt where it covers her nipple.

“Look now,” she says. “You’ve made me leak.”

He plants a kiss on her chest. “Why is it so bloody adorable when you say that?” He moves onto his knees, straddling her legs, and pushes up her t-shirt. “You haven’t pumped yet?”

“No.” She pouts. “Been putting it off.”

His eyes shine at her. “Then allow me.”

He bows his head and takes her breast into his mouth, sucking her nipple. She cradles his head and closes her eyes.

“Mmm…” Much nicer than a breast pump, she’ll grant him that. Even if she does think he’s a bit daft.

His cock grows hard, pressed to her thigh, as he licks and sucks at her. She exhales “I love you,” calm and content.

After a while he raises his head, and she opens her eyes at the loss of his mouth on her. He tugs at the waistband of her knickers and she nods. He peels them off her, then pushes his own down to his knees. He brings his mouth to her other nipple, then his hand moves between them to rub at her gently before he slowly guides himself inside her. At the feel of her, he bites her nipple and she gasps. Then he continues sucking, moving almost unbearably slowly inside her. It’s much less about arousal and orgasm as it is connection and feeling whole together. Her fingers travel up and down his spine gingerly.

“Alec,” she whispers, just to hear it. She lifts her hips to meet him ever so slightly with each comparatively rare thrust. It’s gloriously lazy, and they’re breathing together in a way that relaxes Ellie to no end. She feels unbelievably good right now.

Once Alec has taken all he can from her breasts, he lays his head on her chest again, his cheek to her skin, languidly moving inside her. Her hands move to his arse, lightly squeezing his cheeks, and he lets out a soft groan.

“Love you,” he murmurs into her skin. “God, I love you so much.”

She squeezes his arse again, encouraging him to move just a little faster. “Touch me,” she requests, finding his hand and guiding it between her legs.

He bites into her skin as he finds her clit, gently stroking it. She starts gasping for air, whimpers growing desperate. He decides to make her come before he’s ready, longing to hear her cry out, to feel her nails dig into him. Her spasms encourage him to start thrusting more quickly now, and he comes about a minute later, spilling out into her with great relief. He moves off of her, realizing how long he’s been crushing her, and lays at her side. She turns to face him and they hold each other with a smile.

“Needed that,” she says quietly.

“Mm, me too.” He strokes her hair and her ear, then kisses her forehead.

“Tess will be here tomorrow,” Ellie reminds him, hand running up and down his arm.

He sighs. “Right.”

“Could be nice, for all we know. But I…” She exhales heavily then bites her lip.

“What?”

“I just…I want to be sensitive to her presence, you know? Not…rub her face in our life and in _us_. But…it’s _Christmas_ ,” she says, looking pained. “I want to have this Christmas with you, have it fully. I don’t want to have to filter myself. To keep myself from…you know, from really being _us_.”

“I know.” He traces the contours of her face. “We won’t. She’ll have to understand. Sure it won’t be easy for her. Or us, sometimes. But we’re to be ourselves while she’s here. If I want to snog you, I’m bloody well goin’ to snog you.”

She smiles. “All right."

Ellie reaches for her bedside lamp and switches it off. “Now turn over and be my little spoon, will you?”

He obliges her happily.

***


	7. December 23rd-25th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I was a fool to write a holiday fic during the holidays. It's not quite what I wanted it to be, but it'll do and I'm ready to move on to the next. Thanks for your patience, all, and hope you had a lovely holiday season. Happy New Year!

**DECEMBER 23 RD**

It’s Fred who answers the door when Tess arrives in the early afternoon. Ellie is running after him, shouting that he’s “not to answer the door alone!”

Despite her protestations, he flings the door open and says, “Hi, Tess!”

Tess tries to mask her surprise. “Well, hello, Fred.”

Ellie comes up behind him, breathless, her hands on his shoulders. “Sorry. Hello.” She leans forward to kiss Tess’ cheek. “Welcome, come on through.”

Tess takes a step inside so Ellie can close the door. She looks around at the well-decorated and very festive interior of the house.

“Lights outside are a nice touch,” she says. “Don’t tell me Alec did it himself.”

Ellie laughs. “Almost entirely, in fact. Just yesterday. Lot of effort for very little time, I said, but he’ll not be deterred by me.”

“Come see my Christmas tree!” Fred exclaims, grabbing Tess’ hand.

He guides her into the living room, where the tree is set up by the large bay window. Ellie follows behind. She’s a bit frazzled, hair unruly, baby powder on her jeans and oversized, loose jumper.

“Ta da!” Fred flings his arms open in front of the tree.

“Very nice,” Tess comments. “Did you decorate all this yourself?”

“We all did!” Fred says. “Even my dad and he hates Christmas. Grinchy Grinch.”

Tess flinches. She still hasn’t gotten used to Fred referring to Alec as his dad. But then she manages a smile. “Looks like some things don’t change, do they?” She smirks at Ellie.

“Been working on it. He’s starting to come round.”

“But it’s _my_ Christmas tree,” Fred insists. “I picked it out.”

Tess is nodding and smiling placatingly at Fred when Alec enters the room with Aila. His shirt is halfway unbuttoned and he’s holding the baby to his chest, her cheek to his bare skin.

“Ah. _Thought_ I heard Fred braggin’ about his tree to someone,” he says. “Good to have you with us, Tess.”

Tess is quite struck by the sight before her. The father of her child now the father of someone else’s child. The casual intimacy of the way he’s holding the baby, the way she’s so contentedly curled into him. She's quite precious in her red and green onesie, and candy-cane striped socks. Alec looks so at ease with her, and so unafraid of showing it. The Alec she once knew, always uncomfortable with intimacy and public displays of affection – of any kind, is long gone.

She’s blinking rapidly at him, her breath caught in her throat. Ellie smiles at their entrance, then seems to notice Tess’s disquietude.

“This is Aila,” Ellie says, as Alec comes up beside her. She rubs Aila’s back gently. “Normally she’s quite sociable but I’m afraid she’s a bit of a fussy one today. Hardly slept last night.”

Tess shakes her head and puts on a smile. “Must mean you hardly slept as well.”

Ellie tilts her head toward Alec. “This one did most of the work. Up with her half the night. Prince that he is.”

Alec turns to the side so that Tess can see Aila’s face. The baby seems entirely calm, not her usual self, but content enough to be in her father’s arms. Tess’s mouth opens a little and she leans forward just slightly to get a better look.

“Oh, wow.”

“Oh, we like _that_ reaction,” Ellie says with a laugh, looking at Alec, then back again.

“We have more than once been stopped on the street,” Alec points out proudly. “Isn’t that right, sweet lass?”

“It’s just she’s…” Tess widens her eyes and shakes her head. “She’s clearly your child, the both of you.”

Ellie elbows Alec. “See, there’s your proof.”

He scoffs.

Fred pipes up. “She’s just a baby, she can’t really do anything yet.”

Ellie rolls her eyes at him, then smiles warmly at Tess. “How about some tea then?” She reaches for Fred. “You come with me, little boy.”

Ellie guides Fred out of the living room. Tess and Alec stand awkwardly for a moment, then he gestures with one hand to the overstuffed chair next to her.

“Have a seat.”

She nods and sits. He sits on the couch adjacent to her, patting Aila’s back.

“How old is she now?” Tess asks politely.

“Four months yesterday.”

Tess focuses on Aila and mostly averts her gaze from Alec’s. “What cheeks she has.”

Alec looks down at her and smiles. “She’s mostly Ellie. Thank christ. Eyes, nose, cheeks.”

Tess smirks. “Got your forehead. And your chin.”

He shrugs that off. “Ellie likes to say we’ll have to wait and see if she has a Scottish accent.”

“Ha.” She tilts her head. “Got your grumpy face as well.”

Alec sighs. “So I’m told.” He shifts the baby a little. “Not normally so grumpy, as Ellie said. Just a bit out of sorts today. Tomorrow she’ll knock your socks off with her smile, I promise you.”

“I look forward to it,” Tess replies. Then finally shifts her gaze to meet his. “How are you enjoying it? Round two of fatherhood? Looks like it suits you.”

“Admittedly feel better prepared this time round,” Alec tells her, a bit hesitantly to dive into the topic with her. “And less to prove at work now, makes it easier to be here more. Ellie’s not gone back to work yet, so I suspect the real test will come once she has.”

Tess is acutely aware of the fact that almost every thing Alec has said to her in the last couple minutes has involved an invocation of Ellie’s name.

“Mm.” She nods.

Ellie comes in with a tray of tea for the three of them and sets it down on the table. “I’ve set Fred up with his legos in the kitchen in the hopes he won’t talk your ear off about _Star Wars_ the entire time you’re here.”

With her tea in hand, she sits down on the couch next to Alec and Aila. “How’s your room at the Trader’s?” Alec asks.

“Fine fine,” Tess replies, sipping her tea.

Ellie looks at Aila, and says to Alec, “Quietest she’s been all day, I reckon.” Alec nods in agreement, then she looks at Tess. “Always very happy to be with Daddy. Happy as a clam in her favourite spot.”

Alec lifts an eyebrow at her. “Happy to be with Mummy too.”

Ellie shrugs with a chuckle. “When she’s hungry. I’m just a buffet to her.”

There’s a brief silence, then Tess says, “I want to thank you again for letting me crash your little Christmas to be with Daisy. I know it’s a bit…unusual, this arrangement.”

“Oh, not at all,” Ellie answers quickly. “We’re happy it’s all sorted. It’ll be nice for Daisy not to have to shuffle back and forth at Christmas, especially what with her attachment to Jade and all.”

“Ah, yes,” Tess agrees. “We’re having dinner with Jade and her parents this evening.”

“Their,” Alec corrects her, not unkindly.

“Their. Right.”

“They’re all lovely,” Ellie says. “Kind, lovely people.”

Daisy flutters into the room. “Oh! You’re here.”

Tess stands and hugs her daughter. “Grand to see you as well.”

“You met Aila. Cute, huh?"

“As a button.”

Daisy looks from Tess to Alec and Ellie and then back to Tess. “…We’ll go get some lunch, yeah?”

Tess grabs her bag. “Thanks for the tea, Ellie.”

“Of course. We’ll see you soon.”

Tess follows Daisy out of the room. Ellie turns to Alec.

“Seemed all right, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, fine. Baby’s a bit difficult for her, I think.”

Ellie nods, laying her head on his shoulder so that she is face to face with Aila, who smiles. “There’s a smile, that’s my good girl.”

“ _Not_ just a buffet to her,” Alec reminds her.

Ellie’s barely heard him. “Look at her, she’s such a love, isn’t she?”

He kisses the top of Aila’s head. “Mm-hmm. Think she might be ready to try for a nap again. You want to see if she’ll eat first?”

Alec hands her over to Ellie. She lifts her jumper and Aila puts up no protestations.

“Atta girl, darlin’,” Alec says, giving her cheek a stroke as she nurses. “She’ll sleep after, don’t you think?”

“Suspect so,” Ellie replies. “You ought to as well.”

He shakes his head. “Fred wants to bake cookies again.”

“I’ll bake cookies with him.”

He snorts at her.

“Hey!”

“I’ll try for a kip before dinner, all right?”

She sighs. “Fine. While you’re in the kitchen, double check to make sure we got all the ingredients for Christmas dinner. Cross-check with the recipes.”

“Yes, dear.” He leans over and kisses her lips, then gets up and exits.

*

**DECEMBER 24th**

On Christmas Eve, they hardly find time to breathe. Fred is in incorrigible Christmas mode from the moment he wakes, which of course is far too early. They make a Christmas-themed breakfast, then Alec goes with him to a little party thrown by one of his little friends (or his parents, at least) where gifts are exchanged and too much sugar consumed. Tom spends the day with Erin’s family and Ellie takes Aila to a festive lunch with David, Lucy, and Olly. Tess and Daisy do some last minute shopping, and Alec doesn’t question them any further. In the evening, it takes two tries at dinner because Alec makes the mistake of letting Ellie cook the first time. And so, after a very late dinner, they curl up to watch _The Grinch_ with the littlest members of their brood.

Alec holds Aila, who can’t quite see the film but can hear it and is rather confounded by the whole thing. Fred is very much snuggled up in Ellie’s lap, happy to have won possession of her over the baby for once. When the film ends, they set up biscuits for Santa on the coffee table, along with a glass of milk at Fred’s insistence. It takes nearly a full hour to get Fred to bed, his little body simply vibrating with excitement. Ellie then has the task of putting Aila to bed, and she seems to have caught some of what her brother was feeling.

Daisy and Tom are, respectively, home by ten, as ordered. They go straight to their rooms with no fuss at all, leaving the downstairs free for Alec and Ellie to set out the presents underneath the Christmas tree.

“I’ll admit this is fun,” Alec says, kneeling next to the tree, arranging the gifts as Ellie hands them to him.

“The power of being Father Christmas cannot be underestimated,” she reminds him.

“What do we do about the biscuits?”

Ellie stares at him dubiously. “We _eat_ them, you knob.”

“I’ll have half of one, you eat the rest.

“You’re trying to fatten me up again.”

He pulls her down onto the floor with him and she squeals, then quickly covers her mouth.

“Don’t think Father Christmas makes noises like that,” he quips, stealing a kiss.

Ellie grabs a snowman-shaped sugar biscuit and holds it up to him. “Eat this snowman.”

Alec bites off the snowman’s head. “Who says isn’t a snow-woman.”

Once he’s swallowed it, she dips her finger in the frosting atop the reindeer biscuit and smears it on her lips.

“ _Naughty_ ,” he says, lips curling.

Then she wipes some frosting on her cheeks, her neck, her chest. He is watching her with rapt attention and she never takes her eyes off him. When she’s finished, he swipes the frosting from Rudolph’s red nose and wipes it onto her nose. She raises a seductive eyebrow at him. He bites off the hat of a Santa biscuit and chews it while she bites her lip, trying not to laugh. Then he kisses her nose, and licks the frosting off her cheek, causing her to giggle. Then he grabs onto her hips and yanks her down until she’s lying on the floor. She lets out another squeal followed by infectious laughter, which he kisses right out of her. He drags his lips from her throat to her chest, lapping up the frosting.

He’s lying on top of her, the Christmas tree lights twinkling next to them. They both look over and smile.

“You’re glowin’,” he says.

She flutters her eyelashes demurely. “Also twinkling and blinking.”

He kisses her fervently, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “Is this what Christmas trees are for?”

She kisses his throat. “Well it’s not a bad use of them.”

“Then we’ll keep it up until April.”

Ellie laughs, pulling him back into a kiss. She raises her leg to wrap around his waist and accidentally knocks an ornament off a low branch.

“We get to do this every year, huh?” Alec says against her lips.

“Until one of us croaks.”

“Hush.” He kisses her. “Can’t wait to see the baby in her wee elf outfit.”

Ellie grins. “I _know_.”

He noses down the collar of her jumper to plant soft kisses all over her chest.

“Think Tess will be all right tomorrow morning?” She asks thoughtfully.

“Mm. Dunno.”

“Bold move, all of us doing gifts together.”

He drags his lips up to her throat. “She didn’t want to do Christmas mornin’ alone. Her choice.”

Alec begins sucking at her pulse point and she suppresses whatever she was going to say next in favor of the sensation.

“Oh that’s nice. Keep…keep doing that.” She closes her eyes and tilts her head back to give him better access.

A warm hand slips up her jumper and cups her breast through her bra.

“And…that, keep doing…that.”

“Quiet,” he murmurs.

“You mean you don’t want me to start singing Christmas carols while you feel me up?”

He bites into her neck and she hisses.

“Uh. Guys.”

Tom’s voice. Alec quicks sits up on his knees and she props herself up.

“Fred’s still awake just so you know. He’s just telling very incorrect Christmas stories out loud to Rhino,” he informs them. “Also can you not ruin all our Christmas presents like that?”

With a derisive shake of his head, he exits back into the hall. Alec looks back down at Ellie.

“He’s all right as long as he stays in his room though, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Ellie agrees, pulling him back down on top of her. “If he comes down we’ll just say Santa came already.”

He goes right back to snogging her. Tom passes by the living room again, this time with a glass of water and yells “STOP IT” as he continues up the stairs.

Alec stops and looks at her. She offers him a crooked smile, face smeared with frosting residue.

“S’pose we should be getting on to bed anyway. We’ll have an early morning and I’m bloody knackered.”

“Mm.”

He plants one last kiss on her lips, then crawls backwards off of her. He stands up and brushes himself off, then holds out to hand to help her up. She moves back into his arms and together they look at the tree.

“Quite nice, isn’t it?” She asks.

“Well done us.”

She looks up at him with a proud smile. “Warming up to Christmas, are we?”

“Mm…a bit.”

Satisfied with this answer, she reaches for his hand. “To bed, I think. Or Santa won’t come.”

*

**DECEMBER 25TH**

It’s still dark when Fred wakes on Christmas morning. He opens his door, holding Rhino tenuously by a leg, and darts into the hallway in his Santa-themed pyjamas. His first instinct is to head for the stairs, but he knows the rules: he is not to go downstairs alone on Christmas morning. He tries to peek, standing at the top of the stairs and looking through the railing. He can see the reflection of the tree lights flashing, but not much else.

Invoking plan b, he runs down the hallway toward his parents’ room. Without stopping to knock or listen, he opens the door. He does it carefully, thinking that if they’re asleep he’ll have the good fortune to wake them up with a great big jump. They _love_ that. When he peeks his head inside, he hears quite a lot of heavy breathing. _Not_ sleep breathing. Thanks to the placement of the pillows, he cannot see his mother at all, only Alec on his knees with no shirt, his back to the door. Fred squints, leaning forward, then hears all too familiar kissy noises. He backs out of the room slowly and closes the door.

He’s not sure what to do now. If he goes back to his room, they might not know he’s awake when they finally emerge. And he’s not allowed to go downstairs. So he runs into his room to get a few books and then plops down on the floor outside the master bedroom door. He flips through the pages, pointing things out in a whisper to Rhino in his lap.

“Oh god.”

Fred looks up at the sound of his mother’s voice from inside the room.

“ _Oh_. Mmm. Yes.”

He decides this is normal enough, then turns back to his book.

“ _Alec_.”

“Tell me what you want.”

Fred’s ears perk up. This could be possibly be interesting. He moves Rhino to the door and presses the stuffed giraffe’s ear to it.

“That,” Ellie says. “Do that again.”

Fred frowns. That wasn’t very interesting.

“This?”

“Yeah. Oh, fuck, _yeah_.”

He tries to imagine what his dad could possibly be doing to her.

After that it’s just heavy breathing for a while. It sounds to Fred like they are working very, very hard. He’s been told that people do sex in order to feel good but that isn’t what it sounds like.

Then comes the gasping and Fred can’t help but listen as it is a little alarming. Over the gasping, he hears, “Come on, baby. Come on, baby.”

Fred sits up on his knees. Alec _never_ calls his mum “baby.” It almost sounds like he’s a different person altogether.

“ _Again_ ,” Ellie cries. “Just – just – “

 _What_? Fred is desperate to know. _Just what_?!

She cries out his dad’s name. But he’s not sure why. He’s right there with her, what could she be calling him for?

Then it’s quiet. Fred hears footsteps and jumps when Tom appears in the hallway next to him.

“…What are you doing?”

Fred shrugs his shoulders. “Mumma and Alec are doing sex and I’m not allowed downstairs.”

Tom’s eyes widen and he mutters under his breath, “Oh fuck me.”

Then, from inside the bedroom, Ellie’s voice: “ _Fuck me_.”

Fred bounces a little, jaw dropped. “How did you know she was gonna say that???”

“Kill me, kill me, kill me now.” Tom rubs his face. “C’mon, Fred, this is too weird, you can’t sit here.”

“I’m just gonna wait ‘til they’re done so we can open presents.”

That’s when the banging starts. Fred’s face crinkles up with concern. “What’s that?!”

“That’s – “ Tom sighs, torn between running away and not leaving his brother behind. “Oh god. That’s. It’s. Nothing. It’s nothing.”

The banging is quicker now.

“Maybe I should go in and see,” Fred reasons.

“NO!” Tom starts to drag Fred away from the door. “It’s – it’s just the. The. Headboard. Against the wall.”

“What’s a headboard?”

“The thing on the bed, now come on.”

“ _Ellie_.” Alec’s voice now. “Fuck. Fuck, you are so beautiful. Christ.”

Fred looks at Tom. “Well that’s nice of him isn’t it?”

“Sod it, I can’t do it, you’re on your own.” Tom turns and heads for the stairs and runs down them as quick as he can.

Then he hears Ellie’s voice, at a pitch he’s never heard before. “I’m – I’m – I’m…”

“Fred?” Daisy comes down from her attic bedroom in her pyjamas. “What’s going on?”

“Hold on, babe. Just – I’m almost – “

Daisy immediately covers Fred’s ears with her hands. “Oh my god.”

“ _Fuck_ , Ellie.”

“Fred, come on.” She starts dragging him to the stairs.

“I’m not allowed downstairs,” Fred insists.

The banging slows and the high-pitched gasping takes over.

“FRED, LET’S GO.”

High-pitched gasps and guttural moans mingle together, then it all goes silent.

“You’re allowed to come downstairs with _me_ , Fred, come on.”

Though hesitant at first, Fred picks up Rhino and lets Daisy guide him downstairs. They find Tom sitting at the kitchen table, head in hands.

“Did you find him outside their room too?” Daisy asks.

Tom looks up and glares at her. “Yeah.”

Upstairs, Ellie is lying with her head hanging off the side of the mattress. Alec lies with his head in her lap, body perpendicular to hers.

“Happy bloody Christmas to us,” Ellie exhales.

“Jesus.”

“Yes, it _is_ his day.”

He raises his head to glare at her and she giggles. She crawls around to lay atop her pillow and he adjust himself to lay next to her, head just above her breasts.

“Bit more…athletic than our _normal_ morning shags, I’ll grant you,” he says.

“The magic of Christmas.”

Alec groans. “Ah, quit it, Miller.”

Ellie is smiling thoughtfully to herself. “I do like a lazy morning shag, no question, but there’s something so… _bracing_ about starting your day with a wild, animalistic fuck.”

“Hope we didn’t wake the kids.”

“Nah, it’s early yet,” she replies. “Baby’s not even made a peep yet.” She glances over at the monitor.

“Unless we didn’t hear it.”

“It’s a _chemical_ thing, we’d have heard it.” She wraps her arms around him and kisses his sweaty hair. “ _Should_ head down soon though. Brew a pot of coffee. It’s going to be a long morning.”

*

“They’re not awake yet?”

Tess has arrived and finds Daisy sitting on the couch with Aila, trying to feed her a bottle. Fred is sitting in front of the Christmas tree waiting impatiently. Tom hands her a cup of tea.

“They’re, um.” Daisy tilts her head to the side. “They’ll be down soon.”

Fred looks over his shoulder at her and says casually, “They’re doing some sex first but we think they’re almost done.”

Tess goes completely red and stands frozen where she is.

Alec and Ellie descend the stairs together, him in a t-shirt and pyjama pants, her in her dressing gown.

“Happy Christmas, my darlings!” Ellie calls out. “I can’t believe you’re all up!”

Alec clocks Daisy. “And you got the baby.”

Daisy shrugs. “She was fussing.”

They both frown.

“What time is it?” Ellie asks.

Tom stares at her. “It’s 8:30, Mum.”

“No it isn’t!”

Tess holds up her mobile. “It’s 8:30.”

Alec and Ellie glance at each other and cringe. Aila starts crying for Ellie.

“She won’t take the bottle from me,” Daisy says. “It’s like she knew you were here somewhere and refused to compromise.”

“CAN WE PLEASE START NOW?” Fred asks, jumping up and down like he’s about to burst.

Ellie takes Aila from Daisy. “So sorry, sweet baby.”

“Yeah, we can – “ Alec rubs his eyes, looking around. “Yes. Let’s…go on, then.”

Ellie looks at him with a stern expression as she sits on the couch and nurses Aila. “ _Coffee_.”

“Right.” He trudges toward the kitchen.

“But we’re starting!” Fred complains.

“Start without me, Father Christmas has got lots for you to get through.”

Before long, they’re all settled around the tree, each of them alternating opening their gifts, Tess included. The adults cling to their caffeinated beverages as the kids tear through wrapping paper.

Ellie is _thrilled_ to get a Soda Stream from Alec, and he is likewise delighted to get a first edition set of _Sherlock Holmes_ novels from her. It’s not ‘til all the other gifts have been opened that Alec admits there is more still for Ellie. And she sheepishly admits the same. Tess makes herself another cup of tea and braces herself.

They find their presents for each other, then he sits in a chair while she sits on the floor nearby. Alec hands Ellie a small wrapped box and a card. She smiles at him.

“Card first?”

“Your choice.”

She opens the envelope, then reads the card. Her face breaks into a wide grin as she looks over it silently. Alec watches her with anticipation.

“Mumma, what is it!” Fred demands. He’s already hopped up on sugar.

“It’s…” She smiles at Alec then looks at Fred. “A night at a hotel in Exmouth. New Year’s Eve.”

Fred furrows his eyebrows, disappointed.

Alec clears his throat. “Not too close but not too far. It also comes with a full overnight of childcare courtesy of Lucy, a bottle of champagne, and all the room service you can eat,” he tells her, then adds, “An entire night to ourselves.”

Ellie crawls over to the chair and reaches for him, pulling his face down to hers. “Thank you.” She kisses him softly, unable to keep from smiling as she does it.

He kisses her back. “Now open the box.”

She tears away the wrapping paper to find a little jewelry box.

“Typical,” Tom comments with a roll of his eyes.

She glances at Alec before raising the lid. It’s a small gem, the same size as the others on her engagement ring.

“It’s Aila’s birthstone,” he says. “She was born two months early. The gem on your ring is wrong.”

Ellie looks up at him with tears in her eyes.

“We’ll take your ring to the jeweler’s this week. Get it replaced.”

She wipes the moisture building in her eyes then crawls up onto his lap, taking his face in her hands and kissing him. “You’re lovely.”

Tess stares into her tea.

He wraps his arms around her. “ _You’re_ lovely.”

She laughs, crinkling her nose as a few tears fall trickle down her cheeks. “You are.”

“Oh my god you’re both lovely, can we get on with it,” Daisy complains.

“I want waffles!” Fred exclaims.

“Ohoho, no.” Ellie shakes her head. “One more still.”

She hops off Alec’s lap and grabs her gift for him, a thin rectangle perfectly giftwrapped. She hands it over with a smug grin. He removes the paper to find it’s simply an envelope. Which makes her grin even more. He opens the envelope and pull out one-sheet card. The expression on his face changes entirely. She bites her lip as she watches him.

“…I’m scared,” Daisy says skeptically.

“What is happening,” Tom adds.

“Ah.” Alec lowers the card, looking straight at Ellie, then finally a hint of a smile appears. “You chose a date.”

She decides to answer for him. “It’s a Save the Date card,” she says, looking at the kids. “For our wedding.”

“Really!” Daisy exclaims. “When is it?!”

Tom blinks. "Kinda forgot you hadn't done it already."

Alec and Ellie are grinning at each other.

“February 22nd,” he says. “In Glasgow.” Then he turns the card over and shows them.

Daisy gets up and snatches the card out of his card, which fortuitously gives Ellie the perfect opportunity to crawl onto his lap again.

“You’ll be there?” She asks, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Be the lad in the tuxedo down front.”

“I’ll be the lass with the baby tripping her way down the aisle to you in heels.”

Tess gets up from her seat. “More tea anyone?” She disappears into the hallway before anyone can reply.

“It’s less than two months away!” Daisy gasps, the realization dawning on her.

“Keepin’ it simple, Daiz,” Alec tells her. “We’ll manage it in time.”

Fred gets up and jumps onto both of their laps. “Will I hold the rings like in the movies?!”

Alec and Ellie wince at his weight on top of them and then pull him into a hug.

“Course, mate,” Alec says.

“WOO HOO!” He hops off their laps again. “WAFFLES!”

He runs off into the kitchen. Daisy picks up the baby then follows him. Tom gets up, but stops before exiting the room.

“Don’t be gross all day, okay?”

“Get out,” Ellie chides him.

He shakes his head and strides into the hallway.

Alec and Ellie tighten their arms around each other. Then Ellie winces. “Sorry about Tess.”

“Wha – oh.” His face falls a bit. “Right.”

“You with the ring, me with the date…not the best gift exchange for her to witness I s’pose.”

“She knows we didn’t mean anythin’ by it. It’s Christmas,” he states, hoping to convince himself as well.

Ellie is quickly grinning impishly at him again. “Still think Christmas isn’t magic?”

He shrugs. “It’s all right.”

“I’m gonna go put the baby in her elf costume and then you’ll see.”

“That’s cheatin’, El.”

She kisses him suddenly and fiercely, then touches her forehead to his. “I love you, you stupid sod.”

“Good thing we’re gettin’ married then, eh?” He runs a hand up her leg, inside her dressing gown. “Happy Christmas, love.”

She grins. The words sound like music coming out of his mouth.

“Happy Christmas.”

***


End file.
